Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện sự mạch lạc và ngữ pháp, tránh tiếng thừa (umm, uh) và sửa lỗi từ vựng/diễn đạt (ví dụ “A acceler” không rõ). Nên mở đầu trực tiếp, dùng một hoặc hai câu bổ trợ rõ ràng với liên từ hợp lý để miêu tả hoàn cảnh nhận xe và cảm xúc. Ví dụ: nêu rõ thời điểm, ai tặng, lý do tặng, và vì sao bạn thích chiếc xe đó.

例: Yes. I had a bike which my mother gave me as a reward when I got excellent grades in high school. It was my first bike and I loved it because it made me feel independent and allowed me to ride with my friends after school.

提案: Cải thiện phát âm từ không rõ và cấu trúc câu; tránh lỗi ngữ pháp (ví dụ “country science” không hợp lý) và lặp từ (“a feel and a feel of”). Hãy trả lời trực tiếp, dùng một câu chủ đề rồi thêm 1–2 câu chi tiết cụ thể với liên từ (for example, because, also) và ví dụ thực tế (e.g. students, workers).

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in Vietnam, especially in rural areas, because they are the cheapest and most convenient way to get around. For example, many students and market vendors use bicycles daily to travel short distances and carry small loads.

× I did. I used to have a bike, which was a gift from my mother, umm, for me when I achieved A acceler, umm, excellent score when I was in high school and I loved it so much.

✓ I did. I used to have a bike that was a gift from my mother when I achieved an excellent score in Acceler A while I was in high school, and I loved it very much.

The phrase 'a gift from my mother, umm, for me when I achieved A acceler, umm, excellent score' is ungrammatical and unclear. Use past participle 'that was a gift from my mother' to describe the bike, and correct the noun phrase to 'an excellent score in Acceler A' (use the article 'an' before a vowel sound). Reorder clauses for clarity: time clause 'when I was in high school' should follow 'achieved an excellent score' or be combined. Also use 'very much' instead of 'so much' for formality. Suggestion: simplify and remove filler words like 'umm'.

× In Vietnam, bikes are very popular, especially in the country science because these are the easiest means of transportation for people to travel from place to place, and I think that they are also reasonable and give people a feel and a feel of.

✓ In Vietnam, bikes are very popular, especially in the countryside, because they are the easiest means of transportation for people to travel from place to place, and I think they are also affordable and give people a sense of freedom.

'country science' is incorrect; the correct noun is 'countryside'. Replace 'because these are' with 'because they are' to match plural 'bikes'. 'Reasonable' is odd for cost; use 'affordable'. The phrase 'give people a feel and a feel of' is redundant and incomplete; replace with 'give people a sense of freedom' for a clear meaning. Also use 'they' instead of 'these' for natural reference. Ensure prepositions and noun choices are correct.