Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Reduce repetition, use a clear topic sentence, and add one specific supporting detail with a linking word. Avoid unnecessary words and keep it within 3–4 sentences. Also correct small grammar issues (remove duplicate "I", use consistent tense and articles).

例: Yes, I had a bike as a child. I learned to ride it at five when my grandfather taught me, and I often rode around the neighborhood to meet friends. Because of that, cycling became my favourite way to explore the town.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence, then give specific supporting reasons and use linking words for coherence. Combine short phrases into complete sentences and avoid casual fillers like "really." Mention a concrete example or statistic if possible.

例: Yes, bicycles are quite popular in my country. For example, many commuters switch to cycling in summer because it is healthy, inexpensive, and often faster than driving in congested areas.

× Yes, I did have a bike when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child.

Using 'did' with the past simple affirmative is unnecessary and redundant. In past simple affirmative sentences use the past form of the verb alone (I had), not the auxiliary 'did'. Suggestion: use 'I had' for a simple past statement.

× I I first learned how to ride a bike when I was 5 when my grandpa first taught me how to and I would use my bike to make a lot of friends around my town.

✓ I first learned how to ride a bike when I was five, when my grandpa taught me, and I used my bike to make a lot of friends around my town.

Multiple issues: repeated word 'I', unnecessary repetition of 'first' and 'how to', inconsistent tense with 'would use'. Use past simple for completed past events ('learned', 'taught', 'used'). Also spell out single-digit ages as words in formal writing ('five'). Suggestion: remove duplicates, use past simple consistently, and add commas for clarity.

× Yes, I do think bikes are popular in my country.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country.

Using the auxiliary 'do' in affirmative present simple is unnecessary for statements that aren't emphatic. Use 'I think' for a normal present opinion. Suggestion: drop 'do' unless stressing the opinion.

× In summer people, especially commuters, tend to use their bicycles to go to their work, which is good for them, really healthy and also low in cost.

✓ In summer, people, especially commuters, tend to use their bicycles to go to work, which is good for them, really healthy, and also low-cost.

'Go to their work' is wordy and unidiomatic; 'go to work' is standard. 'Low in cost' is awkward; use adjective forms like 'low-cost'. Also add commas for clarity. Suggestion: use 'go to work' and 'low-cost' and include commas to separate clauses.