Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cevap kısa ve doğrudan; fakat daha doğal ve zengin yapmak için bir konu cümlesiyle başlayıp, bir-iki destekleyici detay ekleyin. Ayrıca “kid” yerine daha formal “child” veya “when I was young” kullanılabilir. Bağlaçlarla (for example, because, so) cümleleri birbirine bağlayarak akıcılığı artırın ve maksimum 5 cümleyi geçmeyin.

例: Yes, I did — I had a small blue bike when I was about eight years old. It was great for learning to balance and I used it to visit my friends nearby. Because our neighborhood was quiet, I felt safe riding it almost every afternoon.

提案: Cevap fikir veriyor ama ifade dağınık ve tekrarlı. Daha tutarlı bir konu cümlesi kullanın, ardından spesifik nedenler veya örnekler verin. Argo kısaltmalardan ('cause) kaçının; yerine “because” kullanın. Görsel gözlemlerinizi düzenli cümlelerle aktarın ve gereksiz tekrarları silin.

例: Yes, I believe bicycles are very popular in my country because many people use them for short trips and exercise. For example, I often see cyclists on the way to work and families riding in parks on weekends. Additionally, bike-sharing programs in several cities have made cycling more common.

× 'Yes, I had a bike when I was a kid.'

✓ 'Yes, I had a bike when I was a child.'

'No grammatical error in subject-verb agreement, but "kid" is informal; use "child" to match examiner's more formal phrasing. Suggestion: use consistent register.'

× 'Yes, I think bikes are very popular in my country 'cause when I look at my left I see bikes, when I look at my I look everywhere and I everywhere is bike.'

✓ 'Yes, I think bicycles are very popular in my country because when I look to my left I see many bikes; when I look everywhere I see bikes.'

'The original sentence has sentence structure and word order problems, missing words, and informal contraction. Specific issues: 1) "'cause" is informal; use "because". 2) "look at my left" should be "look to my left". 3) "when I look at my I look everywhere" is ungrammatical and redundant. 4) "I everywhere is bike" has incorrect word order and missing articles/plural. Suggestions: a) Replace informal contractions with full forms. b) Use correct prepositional phrase "look to my left". c) Remove redundancy and complete clauses: "when I look to my left, I see many bikes; when I look everywhere, I see bikes." d) Use plural "bikes" or count expression "many bikes" for naturalness.'