Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more specific, fluent and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details. Avoid filler words (uh). Keep answer within 2–4 sentences and use correct tense and grammar (e.g., 'it was broken' or 'it broke').

例: Yes, I did. I had a bright red bicycle with a basket, and I rode it to school every day until the chain broke when I was nine. I remember learning to balance on it with my father’s help, which made me very proud.

提案: Correct grammar, organize ideas, and give specific reasons. Use plural agreement ('bikes are'), avoid unrelated words ('insomnia'), and use linking words (for example, because, so, therefore). Provide one clear reason and one brief example. Limit to 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country because many people find them a cheap and healthy way to travel. For example, children often ride bikes around parks after school, and some adults use them to commute short distances to work.

× Uh, yes I did. I had a beautiful bike, but uh, it's broken.

✓ Uh, yes, I did. I had a beautiful bike, but it was broken.

The speaker is describing a past situation (having a bike as a child), so the state of the bike should also be expressed in the past tense. Using 'it's broken' (present tense contraction of it is) conflicts with the past narrative. Change to 'it was broken' to maintain consistent past tense. Also add a comma after 'yes' for clarity.

× In my opinion, uh, bikes is very popular, popular in my country because uh, children like to write and uh, enjoy it.

✓ In my opinion, bikes are very popular in my country because children like to ride and enjoy them.

The plural subject 'bikes' requires the plural verb 'are' (subject-verb agreement). 'Popular' was repeated and should be used once. 'Write' is a wrong verb likely intended as 'ride'. Also 'enjoy it' is incorrect because 'it' is singular while referring to plural 'bikes'; use 'enjoy them'. Remove filler 'uh' and duplicate words for clarity.

× Insomnia actually, because uh, the only time they have a free time in this summer.

✓ Actually, this is because the only free time they have is in the summer.

The original sentence is ungrammatical and contains a misplaced word 'Insomnia' (likely unintended). Reordering and rephrasing clarifies the meaning: use 'this is because' to connect to the previous sentence, avoid repeating 'time' ('free time' already includes 'time'), and place 'in the summer' at the end. Use present tense 'have' and 'is' appropriately to explain a general situation.