Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: The response is inappropriate for the question and does not answer it. Give a direct, concise answer (topic sentence) and add one or two brief supporting details using linking words. Keep it natural and under five sentences.

例: Yes, I did have a bike when I was a child. It was a small red bicycle with training wheels, and I rode it around my neighborhood every weekend. Because my parents were careful, they often came with me for safety, so I felt confident learning to cycle.

提案: The answer addresses the question but has hesitations, repetition and some vague statements. Start with a clear topic sentence, use linking words (however, for example, therefore) to structure supporting details, avoid repetition, and give a specific example or reason. Keep it within four sentences.

例: Yes, bikes are fairly popular in my country, especially among children. However, cultural norms mean many girls stop cycling as they get older, so adult use is lower among women. For example, most boys ride to school or play with friends, whereas adult commuting by bike is still uncommon in many cities.

× OK, now can you give me another question because I already answered that one.

✓ OK, could you give me another question because I have already answered that one.

The student used 'can you' which is acceptable in spoken English but 'could you' is more polite for requests in this context (modal verb choice). Also 'already answered' needs present perfect 'have already answered' because the action has relevance to the present moment. Suggestion: use 'could you' for polite requests and use present perfect (have + past participle) when referring to actions completed before now with present relevance.

× Well, yes, uh, but specially for boys, girls ride the bike only when they are little.

✓ Well, yes, but especially for boys, girls ride bikes only when they are little.

The student wrote 'specially' which is less appropriate; 'especially' is the correct adverb to emphasize a subgroup. Also 'ride the bike' is unnatural in generic statements; use plural 'bikes' for general habits. Suggestion: use 'especially' to emphasize and pluralize countable nouns when speaking generally.

× But then when we grow up, we are not really allowed to use them because of the society, you know.

✓ But then when we grow up, we are not really allowed to use them because of society, you know.

The phrase 'the society' is incorrect in this general sense; 'society' without an article is used to refer to society in general. Using 'the' suggests a specific society, which isn't intended. Suggestion: drop 'the' when speaking about society as a general concept.

× But yeah, yeah, occasionally we, we might use them, but I love them.

✓ But yeah, occasionally we might use them, and I love them.

The original contains repetition 'yeah, yeah' and a repeated pronoun 'we, we' which are disfluent; also the clause contrast is better joined with 'and' to show both occasional use and enjoyment. Suggestion: remove unnecessary repetitions and join related ideas clearly.

× I love riding bikes.

✓ I love riding bikes.

This sentence is grammatically correct. The verb 'love' can be followed by the gerund 'riding' to express enjoyment of an activity. No correction needed.