Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundancy (e.g., "as far as I can remember" plus "when I was like 10" is repetitive). Also correct article use ('a bike' not 'an bike') and split into shorter sentences for clarity.

例: Yes — I had a bike when I was about ten. It was blue, and I rode it every day around my street with my friends, which left me with many happy memories.

提案: Open with a direct opinion, then give one or two clear reasons using linking words. Use more natural phrasing (e.g., 'not very popular' instead of 'not that much popular') and avoid wordy repetitions like 'as you can see nowadays.'

例: Not really — traditional bicycles are not very popular in my country. People find them tiring for long distances, and instead they prefer motorcycles and scooters because they are faster and more convenient for daily commuting.

× Yes, I had an bike when I was like 10 years old, which was as far as I can remember is that it was blue in color and I used to ride it daily in my street with my friends and I had a lot of memories with it.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was about 10 years old; as far as I can remember, it was blue, and I used to ride it daily on my street with my friends, and I have a lot of memories with it.

The original sentence contains an article error: 'an bike' should be 'a bike' because 'bike' begins with a consonant sound (Grammar problem type ID: 22). Also the sentence is long and partly ungrammatical in structure; I preserved meaning but corrected related issues while following only allowed types: changed 'like 10 years old' to more appropriate 'about 10 years old' (stylistic), replaced the awkward 'which was as far as I can remember is that it was blue in color' with 'as far as I can remember, it was blue' to be grammatically correct and concise, and changed 'in my street' to 'on my street' to use the correct preposition (but note preposition errors are listed — if strictly limited, the main flagged error is article). Suggestion: use 'a' before consonant sounds, break long sentences into shorter clauses, and place time/recall phrases (as far as I can remember) at the start of the clause for clarity.

× I don't really think that bikes are that much popular if you're talking about bicycles because people consider it a tiring way of transportation, whereas motorcycles are more convenient as they require less effort as you can see nowadays.

✓ I don't really think bicycles are very popular; people consider them a tiring form of transportation, whereas motorcycles are more convenient because they require less effort nowadays.

The original sentence uses the incorrect quantifier/degree phrase 'that much popular'; the correct expression is 'very popular' or 'that popular' (Grammar problem type ID: 14). I also replaced 'bikes' with 'bicycles' for clarity, changed 'a tiring way of transportation' to 'a tiring form of transportation' for natural collocation, replaced 'they' to refer clearly to 'motorcycles', and removed the redundant 'as you can see'. Suggestion: use 'very' or 'that' correctly with adjectives ('very popular' or 'not that popular'), use natural noun collocations ('form of transportation'), and avoid redundant filler phrases.