Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence that answers the question, avoid mistakes and irrelevant phrases (e.g. “write a book” is likely a mistake for “ride a bike”), and limit to about 2–4 sentences. Use linking words (however, after, then) and add one specific detail (age, where you learned, who taught you).

例: Yes, I had a small red bike when I was about six years old. At first it was hard to balance, and after many falls I learned to ride it by practicing every weekend with my father. By the time I was eight I could ride confidently around the neighborhood.

提案: Remove hesitations and be more specific. Begin with a direct answer, then give one or two clear reasons and a specific example. Use linking words (for example, because, especially) to organise your response, and avoid overgeneralisation by qualifying statements (many people, especially in cities or rural areas).

例: Yes, I think bikes are very popular in my country, especially in smaller towns. Many people use them for short trips because they are cheap and convenient; for example, students and market vendors often travel by bicycle rather than by car.

× Yes, I had a bike when I was a child and to be honest, at first it was quite difficult for me to learn how to ride a bike.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child and, to be honest, at first it was quite difficult for me to learn how to ride it.

The original sentence is mostly correct for past tense, but repeating 'bike' twice is stylistically poor; replacing the second 'bike' with the pronoun 'it' improves coherence. Add commas around the parenthetical 'to be honest' for correct punctuation. Suggestion: use pronouns to avoid repetition and punctuate parenthetical phrases. Grammar problem type ID: 5

× But after practicing and falling many times, I managed to write a book on my own and it was so gladdening.

✓ But after practicing and falling many times, I managed to ride a bike on my own and it was very gratifying.

The student likely meant 'ride a bike' rather than 'write a book'; 'managed to write a book' is semantically incorrect in this context. Also, 'gladdening' is awkward; 'gratifying' or 'very pleasing' is more natural. This is a word choice error rather than a tense error. Suggestion: ensure verbs match intended action and choose natural adjectives. Grammar problem type ID: 9

× Yes, definitely. Bikes are popular in our country and every uh, regardless of the gender, everyone, uh, umm, uh, everyone buys a bike in some point in their lives, uh, at least once and everybody gets to experience.

✓ Yes, definitely. Bikes are popular in our country, and regardless of gender, everyone buys a bike at some point in their lives, at least once, and everybody gets to have the experience.

Original has several issues: wordiness and disfluencies (uh, umm) that should be removed. Use 'regardless of gender' (no article). 'In some point' is incorrect preposition and article usage — correct form is 'at some point'. Also 'gets to experience' is incomplete; 'get to have the experience' or 'gets to experience it' is clearer. Subject-verb agreement is fine but sentence structure was awkward. Suggestions: remove fillers, use correct prepositions ('at some point'), and simplify sentence for clarity. Grammar problem type ID: 11