Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., past forms and articles) and avoid filler words like “and yes.”

例: Yes, I did. It was a small blue bike that I used to ride with my friends around the neighborhood. We often raced each other on weekends, which helped me become more confident and active.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence, then support it with clear reasons and a specific example. Use correct tense and avoid repetition. Use linking words such as "because" or "mainly because" and replace vague phrases like "or whatever" with concrete examples.

例: No, I don't think so, mainly because most people prefer cars for commuting. For example, many families drive to work or the supermarket since public transport is limited and distances can be long.

× Yes, I had a bike and that was a blue bike and I used for playing with my friends and yes.

✓ Yes, I had a bike. It was blue, and I used it to play with my friends.

Multiple problems: omitted object with the verb 'used' and run-on sentence. The student used 'used' without its object; the correct pattern is 'use something to do something' so 'used it to play'. Also the original is a run-on with repeated 'and' and unnecessary 'yes'. Split into two or three clauses and supply the missing pronoun 'it' to refer to the bike. Use simple past consistently for past events ('had', 'was', 'used'). Suggestions: include the object after 'used' (it), write shorter sentences, and keep verb tense consistent.

× No, they're not, because here people usually used, people usually use cars to go anywhere like their works or shop or shopping or whatever.

✓ No, they are not, because people here usually use cars to go anywhere, such as to work or to go shopping.

Errors include incorrect past form 'used' where habitual present is required ('usually use'), awkward phrasing 'their works', and repetition 'shop or shopping'. Use present simple for habitual actions: 'people usually use'. Use 'work' (uncountable in this context) and the infinitive phrases 'to work' and 'to go shopping' or noun 'shopping'. Remove redundant fillers. Suggestions: use present simple for routines, avoid repeating similar words, and use 'to work' instead of 'their works'.