Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and clear. Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid fillers (umm, uh), correct grammar (use past tense consistently), and limit to up to five sentences. Add one or two specific details (e.g., age, where you rode it, who taught you) using linking words (for example, then, later) to make the answer coherent.

例: Yes, I did. My first bike was a small three-wheeler when I was about four, and later I had a regular two-wheeler that I rode until I was a teenager. For example, my father taught me to pedal in the park, and I often rode to school with my friends.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence and support it with specific reasons and one example. Avoid repetition and colloquial filler. Use linking words (however, because, for instance) to connect ideas and give a fuller but concise answer (1–3 supporting sentences).

例: Bikes are popular mainly among children but less so among adults. This is because there are few dedicated bike lanes and roads are crowded, so cycling is often impractical for long distances. For example, most adults prefer motorbikes or cars for commuting to work.

× Yes, I definitely did, and I remember when umm, I remember my first bike was with the three umm, a free S uh cycles, and my next one was uh normal 1 and I remember I've been driving bike, my personal bike till I've became.

✓ Yes, I definitely did, and I remember my first bike had training wheels, and my next one was a normal one, and I remember I rode my personal bike until I grew up.

Multiple past tense and wording errors: 'my first bike was with the three... cycles' is unclear and should be 'had training wheels' to describe three-wheel helper wheels. 'normal 1' should be 'a normal one' (article and pronoun). 'I've been driving bike' mixes present perfect continuous with incorrect verb and noun use; use simple past 'I rode' or past continuous depending on context. 'till I've became' is incorrect past perfect/verb form; use 'until I grew up' for natural past phrase. Suggestion: use consistent past tense for past memories, choose correct verbs (ride for bikes), correct articles ('a'), and clear nouns ('training wheels').

× It's quite popular among the children, but it's not that popular among the adults because we don't have a special, you know, special trail for bikes.

✓ Bicycles are quite popular among children, but they are not that popular among adults because we don't have a dedicated bike trail.

Original mixes singular 'It's' with plural idea and repeats 'special'. 'It's quite popular among the children' is awkward; use plural subject 'Bicycles are' or 'Cycling is'. Also 'they are not that popular among adults' ensures subject-verb agreement and clarity. Replace 'a special, you know, special trail' with 'a dedicated bike trail' for concise natural English. Suggestion: match subject number with verb and avoid filler repetition.

× And it's kind of difficult to go somewhere far.

✓ And it is kind of difficult to go far by bike.

Awkward phrase 'go somewhere far' is non-native. Rephrase to 'go far by bike' to express difficulty traveling long distances using a bike. Maintain present tense consistent with general statement. Suggestion: use natural collocations like 'go far' or 'travel long distances.'

× Where's the bike?

✓ Where is the bike?

Contraction 'Where's' is acceptable in spoken English, but in formal test answers full form 'Where is the bike?' is clearer. However this line seems out of context; if student intended to ask 'Why are bikes not used for long trips?' it should be rephrased. Suggestion: use complete forms in formal responses and ensure relevance to the question.