Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Speak in complete sentences, correct simple grammar (articles, verb forms), and avoid trailing off. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. For example, correct “When I was child” to “When I was a child,” and “It's got a pink color and small” to “It was small and pink.” Also finish your idea: explain why it made you happy and give one brief detail (e.g., independence or compliments).

例: When I was a child, my father bought a small pink bicycle for me to ride to school. It made me very happy because I felt independent, and my classmates often complimented my bike, which made me proud.

提案: Answer directly and organize ideas with linking words. Fix basic vocabulary and grammar (e.g., “bikes,” “primary school students,” “use bikes,” “their parents are busy”). Give one clear reason and one specific example. Avoid filler words (uh) and unclear phrases. Use a topic sentence, then a reason introduced by a linking word (for example, because/so).

例: Yes, I think bicycles are quite popular in my country. For example, many primary school students use bikes to travel to school because their parents are busy and cannot drive them, so cycling is a convenient and inexpensive option.

× When I was child, my father bought a new bike for me to ride to school.

✓ When I was a child, my father bought a new bike for me to ride to school.

Missing the article 'a' before the singular noun 'child'. In English, singular countable nouns usually need an article or determiner. Suggestion: use 'a child' or another determiner (my, the) as appropriate.

× It's got a pink color and small.

✓ It was pink and small.

The phrase 'got a pink color' is unnatural and mixes tense. Use 'was' for past description and place adjectives directly after the verb: 'It was pink and small.' Alternatively 'It had a pink color and was small.' Ensure consistent past tense.

× For me it's make me feel very happy and I.

✓ For me, it made me feel very happy.

Sentence has wrong tense and an incomplete ending 'and I'. Use past tense 'made' to match earlier past context and remove the fragment. Also add comma after introductory phrase. Avoid repeating subject 'me' unnecessarily: 'It made me very happy.'

× Yet I think buys are popular in my country because for student in primary, uh they only use by for going to school because your parent have busy, they have to go to work and they have and their child have to write.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country because primary school students only use them to go to school. Parents are busy; they have to go to work, so their children go to school by bike.

Multiple problems: 'Yet' wrong connector; 'buys' is incorrect word form for 'bikes' (spelling/pronoun misuse); 'for student in primary' needs plural and article; 'use by' misuses preposition and pronoun; 'your parent have busy' uses wrong pronoun and missing adjective form; repetition 'they have and their child have to write' is unclear. Corrections include using 'Yes' as reply, correct noun 'bikes', plural 'students' and proper pronouns 'their', correct verb forms 'are busy' and clearer clause order. Use 'go to school by bike' or 'use them to go to school.'