Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and direct but too short. Give a brief topic sentence plus one or two supporting details (where, how often, memories) using a linking word to make it coherent. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and avoid filler words like “actually.”

例: Yes, I did. I had a small red bike that I used to ride around my neighborhood every weekend when I was about eight. Because my parents encouraged outdoor play, I learned to ride without training wheels quickly and remember feeling very proud.

提案: The answer is repetitive and confusing. Start with a clear topic sentence stating your view, then explain with a reason and an example using linking words (however, although, for example). Avoid repeating phrases and correct grammar (use plural ‘they’ or ‘bikes’ and proper sentence structure).

例: I don’t think bikes are very popular in my country. Although many people own bicycles for short trips, most prefer cars for commuting because public infrastructure for cycling is limited. For example, there are few dedicated bike lanes in my city, so cycling is less common than in some European countries.

× Yes, it is popular, but but not in our country.

✓ Yes, they are popular, but not in our country.

The student refers to 'bikes' (plural). The pronoun and verb must match the plural noun. Using 'it is' is incorrect for a plural subject. Also there is a duplicate 'but'. Suggestion: use 'they are' to agree with 'bikes' and remove the extra 'but'.

× I think in other countries, Not our country actually.

✓ I think they are popular in other countries, not in ours, actually.

The original is a fragment and has incorrect capitalization of 'Not'. It lacks a clear subject and verb. Rephrase to include the subject 'they' (referring to bikes) and a verb 'are', and use the possessive pronoun 'ours' to refer to 'our country'. Also place 'actually' at the end for natural emphasis.