Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more grammatically consistent and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (past tense), avoid repetition, and add one or two specific supporting details using a linking word. Also correct tense and article use (e.g., “a bike,” “my neighbors”).

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I used to ride it every afternoon with my neighbors on the street in front of my house, and we often stopped to chat or rest under a large tree.

提案: Clarify meaning and use appropriate vocabulary. Begin with a direct opinion, then give clear reasons with linking words. Avoid unclear phrases like “drives time” and use context-appropriate words (e.g., “save time,” “eco-friendly,” “convenient”).

例: Yes, I think bicycles are very popular in my country. For example, they are convenient for short trips and help people save time in crowded areas, and moreover they are eco-friendly and inexpensive to maintain.

× I have a bike. When I when I was a child, I used to play with that bike and rest with my neighbor's children in the street that is in front of my house.

✓ I had a bike. When I was a child, I used to play with that bike and hang out with my neighbors' children in the street in front of my house.

The speaker is describing a past situation, so present tense 'have' is incorrect; use past tense 'had' (Grammar problem type ID 6). The original also repeats 'when I' and uses 'rest with' which is unnatural; 'hang out with' better conveys spending time together. 'Neighbor's children' should be plural possessive 'neighbors' children' if referring to children of multiple neighbors or can be 'my neighbor's children' if a single neighbor; here 'neighbors' children' fits more naturally. Remove redundant phrase 'that is' for concision.

× US bikes are very popular in my country because it also drives time and it is also very friendly and in my opinion bikes are very comfortable and easy to drive.

✓ Bicycles are very popular in my country because they save time, are environmentally friendly, and, in my opinion, are comfortable and easy to ride.

The original sentence has unclear subjects and incorrect verbs: 'US bikes' likely meant 'bikes' or 'bicycles'; 'it also drives time' is ungrammatical and should be 'they save time' (Grammar problem type ID 26). 'It is also very friendly' incorrectly uses 'it' and 'friendly'—use 'are environmentally friendly' with plural pronoun matching 'bicycles' (Grammar problem type ID 27 subject-verb agreement and ID 12 pronoun use). 'Drive' is incorrect collocation for bicycles; use 'ride'. The corrected sentence fixes subject-verb agreement, clarifies meaning, and uses appropriate vocabulary.