Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one clear supporting detail. Avoid awkward phrasing like "a bike of my cousin brother" and filler words such as "as far as I remember" unless necessary. Use linking words if you add a second sentence (e.g., "because" or "so").

例: Yes, I did. I often rode my cousin’s bike when I was young because my family couldn’t afford a separate one for me, so I learned to ride on his whenever he let me.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and support it with specific reasons or an example. Remove hesitations like "uh" and correct grammar (e.g., "convenient vehicle"). Use linking words to organize ideas (e.g., "because", "also", "for example"). Keep it within 2–3 sentences and avoid redundancy.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are inexpensive and easy to maintain. For example, many students and commuters prefer motorcycles for short trips, and this affordability means almost everyone can own one.

× As far as I remember, I did have a bike in my childhood, but I used to use a bike of my cousin brother.

✓ As far as I remember, I had a bike in my childhood, but I used to use my cousin's bike.

The phrase 'did have' is unnecessary emphatic in simple past; use 'had'. 'Used to' is correct for past habitual action. 'A bike of my cousin brother' is unnatural and ungrammatical: English uses possessive ('my cousin's bike') and 'cousin brother' is redundant. Use 'my cousin's bike'. Suggestions: use simple past 'had' for possession in the past and form possessives with 'my X's Y'.

× Bikes are very convenient uh vehicle, everyone can afford it and this is the main reason bikes are quite popular in my country as well as the person who loves bike, they use it.

✓ Bikes are a very convenient vehicle; everyone can afford them, and this is the main reason bikes are quite popular in my country. Also, people who love bikes use them.

Multiple errors: 'very convenient uh vehicle' needs an article and removal of filler; use 'a very convenient vehicle'. Pronoun agreement: 'everyone' is singular so pair with 'can afford it' is awkward when referring to bikes collectively — better to use plural 'them' referring to 'bikes' and restructure. 'As well as the person who loves bike, they use it' has pronoun and number mismatch and article omission: 'the person who loves bike' should be 'people who love bikes' and pronouns must agree -> 'they use them'. Suggestions: add appropriate articles, match singular/plural, and use clear clause connectors (e.g., 'also') and avoid fillers like 'uh'.