Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cevap net ama akıcılık ve dilbilgisi iyileştirilmeli. Gereksiz dolgu kelimeleri (“uh”) azaltın, cümleleri daha doğal bağlayıcılarla birleştirin ve zaman uyumuna dikkat edin. Örneğin kısa, doğrudan bir konu cümlesi (Yes, I did) ile başlayıp, ardından bağlaçlarla(‘often’, ‘with’) destekleyici ayrıntılar verin. Ayrıca “pretty interesting” yerine daha uygun sıfatlar (‘great’, ‘enjoyable’) kullanın ve fiil zamanlarını tutarlı hale getirin.

例: Yes, I did. I often rode my bike at the weekends with my sister and friends, and we had a lot of fun exploring the neighbourhood. Riding together helped us feel independent and gave us exercise.

提案: Cümle yapıları ve dilbilgisi hataları üzerinde çalışın; fikirleri daha mantıklı bağlayıcılarla sıralayın. ‘Yes for my opinion’ yerine ‘In my opinion’ veya kısa ‘Yes’ kullanın. Hatalı ifadeleri düzeltin: ‘It keeps the air from pollution’ yerine ‘It helps reduce air pollution’. Ayrıca zıtlığı belirtirken uygun bağlaçlar kullanın (‘however’, ‘but’) ve gereksiz tekrarları kaldırın.

例: In my opinion, bikes are quite popular among both children and adults. Many people use them to commute to work or school because cycling is cheap and environmentally friendly. However, cycling becomes difficult in bad weather, so some people prefer other transport then.

× Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I liked riding it, uh, at the weekends and it was pretty interesting. I was riding it with my friends, with my sister. We had a lot of fun.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I liked riding it on weekends and it was very enjoyable. I rode it with my friends and my sister. We had a lot of fun.

The student used a mixture of past continuous and simple past where simple past is more natural for habitual past actions. 'At the weekends' is a correct British form but 'on weekends' is more general; replace 'pretty interesting' with 'very enjoyable' for natural collocation when describing fun activities. Use 'I rode' instead of 'I was riding' to indicate habitual action. Also combine 'with my friends, with my sister' to 'with my friends and my sister' for clarity. Suggestion: Use simple past for repeated/habitual actions in the past (I rode, I liked). Use natural collocations (enjoyable rather than interesting for fun). Use conjunctions to join items.

× Yes for my opinion. I think it's popular in my country, kids and adults.

✓ In my opinion, I think bikes are popular in my country among both kids and adults.

'Yes for my opinion' is incorrect phrasing; use 'In my opinion'. 'I think it's popular' uses 'it' ambiguously; refer clearly to 'bikes' and use plural 'are'. Add 'among' to show the group (kids and adults). Suggestion: Begin opinions with 'In my opinion' and ensure pronouns agree with their antecedents (bikes -> they/are).

× Some adults go to work or school by bike. It's actually keeps the air or from pollution also.

✓ Some adults go to work or school by bike. It actually helps keep the air free from pollution.

'It's actually keeps' mixes a contraction 'it is' with a verb form; correct structure is 'It helps keep' or 'It actually keeps'. Also 'the air or from pollution' is ungrammatical; use 'free from pollution' to express reduced pollution. Use 'helps keep' to show causation. Suggestion: Ensure verb forms follow subject and auxiliary correctly (It helps keep, not It helps to keeps). Use fixed expressions like 'free from pollution'.

× But sometimes whenever it's a bad weather it's actually not a good opinion to use a bike.

✓ But sometimes when the weather is bad, it's not a good idea to use a bike.

'Sometimes whenever' is redundant; choose 'sometimes' or 'when'. 'It's a bad weather' uses unnecessary article; 'weather' is uncountable so say 'the weather is bad' or 'bad weather'. 'Not a good opinion to use a bike' is incorrect collocation; the correct phrase is 'not a good idea to use a bike'. Suggestion: Use 'when' for conditions, omit redundant words, and use correct collocations: 'a good idea', 'bad weather'.