Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (e.g., 'taught me' not 'learned me'), and add one or two brief supporting details with linking words. Avoid repetition of the same idea.

例: Yes, I did. My parents bought me a small red bike when I was seven, and my father taught me to ride it in our local park. As a result, I gained confidence and spent many afternoons practicing with my friends.

提案: Answer directly and organize your ideas. Use correct sentence structure and linking words (e.g., 'however', 'for example'). Be specific about where bikes are popular or not, and give one clear reason. Avoid fragmented sentences and repetition.

例: Not really. In my city bicycles are uncommon, probably because public transport is more convenient. However, in places like Germany I noticed hundreds of bikes, which suggests cycling is more popular there due to better bike lanes and a strong cycling culture.

× When I was a child, I had a bike and I remember how my father learned me to ride this bike and how necessary he was for me, how important this was for me.

✓ When I was a child, I had a bike and I remember how my father taught me to ride it and how necessary he was for me, how important that was to me.

ID 12: The verb 'learn' is incorrectly used with the object 'me' in English; the correct verb for teaching someone is 'teach', and the past tense is 'taught'. Also 'this bike' is more naturally 'it' after the noun is established, and 'how important this was for me' is clearer as 'how important that was to me'. Suggestion: Use 'teach' when indicating someone instructs another (teach someone to do something), use 'taught' for past tense, and use pronoun 'it' for a previously mentioned noun.

× Personally, me, I don't see a lot of bicycles on the streets.

✓ Personally, I don't see a lot of bicycles on the streets.

ID 12: The phrase 'Personally, me, I' is ungrammatical and redundant. Use the subject pronoun 'I' alone. Suggestion: Use a single subject pronoun; omit 'me'.

× Doesn't matter where do I am, where am I?

✓ It doesn't matter where I am.

ID 26: The original mixes interrogative word order inside a declarative clause. Use a cleft or a simple declarative: 'It doesn't matter where I am.' If you intend a question, use 'Does it matter where I am?' Suggestion: For embedded clauses after phrases like 'doesn't matter', use normal subject-verb order.

× But when I was, for example, in Germany, there was a lot of bicycles.

✓ But when I was, for example, in Germany, there were a lot of bicycles.

ID 5: Subject-verb agreement in past tense with plural noun requires 'were' not 'was'. 'A lot of bicycles' is plural, so use 'were'. Suggestion: Match plural subjects with 'were' in past simple.

× There was hundreds of them.

✓ There were hundreds of them.

ID 1: 'Hundreds' is plural so the existential 'there' construction requires 'were' rather than 'was'. Suggestion: Use 'there were' with plural counts like 'hundreds'.

× And that's really was really, I was happy when I saw it because it's sports.

✓ And that was really great; I was happy when I saw them because cycling is a popular sport.

ID 26: The sentence has redundant words ('that's really was really') and unclear pronoun reference ('it' and 'it's sports'). 'Bicycles' is plural, so refer to 'them', and 'cycling is a sport' or 'cycling is popular' is clearer. Suggestion: Remove redundancy and clarify subjects: use 'that was really great' and refer to bicycles/plural with 'them', and state 'cycling is a sport' or 'sports are popular'.

× Sports is alive.

✓ Sport is alive.

ID 13: 'Sports is alive' is awkward; 'sport' as a general concept is uncountable and pairs with singular 'is'. Alternatively say 'sports are alive' meaning 'sports culture is alive' but more natural: 'sport is alive' or 'sports are thriving'. Suggestion: Use 'sport is alive' or 'sports are thriving' depending on intended meaning.