Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Also avoid mixing ‘bike’ and ‘motorcycle’ unless you clarify the difference. Keep answers under five sentences and use varied vocabulary (e.g., enjoy, explore, independence).

例: Yes, I had a bike as a child. It allowed me to explore my neighborhood and gave me a sense of independence, because I could visit friends and run small errands on my own. As a result, I developed confidence and a love of outdoor activities.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence, then support it with specific reasons and an example, using linking words to structure the response. Avoid vague phrases like ‘not really economically rich’ — use more precise expressions (e.g., many people have limited incomes). Keep language natural and vary vocabulary (e.g., affordable, practical, common).

例: Yes, bicycles are quite popular in the Philippines. For many people with limited incomes, bikes are an affordable and practical way to travel short distances; for example, market vendors often pedal to work because it is cheaper than taking public transport. Therefore, bicycles play an important role in everyday commuting.

× Yes, I did have a bike when I was a child and because of having a bike I really enjoyed riding around my small community and it really shaped me as a person because growing up I really enjoy riding my motorcycle all around town and just feel that breath of fresh air.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child, and because of having a bike I really enjoyed riding around my small community. It really shaped me as a person because, growing up, I really enjoyed riding my motorcycle all around town and just felt that breath of fresh air.

The sentence mixes past and present tenses incorrectly. The question asks about the past, so verbs should be in the past tense: 'did have' can be simplified to 'had'; 'enjoy' should be 'enjoyed'; 'feel' should be 'felt'. Also the original is a run-on sentence; it is clearer to split into two sentences and add commas for clarity. Suggestion: keep time frame consistent (past) and use punctuation to separate ideas.

× I do think bikes are popular in my country, especially because the Philippines is not really economically rich, so riding bicycles help with transportation of people who cannot afford the luxury of cars or even motorbikes.

✓ I do think bikes are popular in my country, especially because the Philippines is not very wealthy, so riding bicycles helps with transportation for people who cannot afford the luxury of cars or motorbikes.

The subject 'riding bicycles' is a singular gerund phrase and requires the singular verb 'helps' (subject-verb agreement). Also 'not really economically rich' is awkward; 'not very wealthy' is more natural. Use 'for people' rather than 'of people' for clarity. Suggestion: match verb number to the gerund subject and choose natural adjective phrases.

× So it's a really huge help to those who need it.

✓ So, it is a huge help to those who need it.

The original is conversational with contractions and redundant intensifiers ('really huge'). For clarity and formality in a test context, expand the contraction and simplify to 'a huge help'. Also add a comma after 'So' for flow. Suggestion: prefer concise wording and proper punctuation in responses.