Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Focus on clear tense and word choice, give a direct topic sentence, then a brief specific detail. Use past tense for childhood, avoid unclear words (e.g., 'jailed'). Keep answer to 1–4 sentences and use a linking word if adding details.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. It was a small red bicycle with training wheels, and I often rode it with my neighbor after school. Because of that, I learned to balance quickly and felt more confident playing outside.

提案: Start with a clear direct opinion, then support it with one or two specific reasons and a linking word. Use correct word order and simple vocabulary if unsure. Avoid repeating words and unclear phrases.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country. For example, many people cycle for exercise or short trips in cities, and there are growing bike lanes that make cycling safer.

× Yes, I have a bike.

✓ Yes, I had a bike.

The examiner asked about the past ('when you were a child'), so the student should use past tense. 'Have' is present tense; change to 'had' to match the time frame. Suggestion: use past simple for completed states in the past (I had a bike when I was a child).

× When I am jailed I got to play with my friend outside on the garden like that.

✓ When I was a child I used to play with my friends outside in the garden.

Multiple issues: tense mismatch ('am jailed' is incorrect and nonsensical here) and past habit expression. Use past simple or 'used to' to describe habitual past actions. Also pluralize 'friend' if speaking about general times and use the correct preposition 'in the garden'. Suggestion: replace incorrect phrase with 'When I was a child' and use 'used to' or past simple for habitual actions.

× Yes, American our country is a popular some some people just I'm hope the bike on some people only to believe not to do anything.

✓ Yes, bicycles are popular in our country, but some people only hope to have a bike and do not actually ride one.

This original sentence has many structural problems: incorrect word order ('American our country'), unclear subject, repetition, and awkward phrasing. Use 'bicycles are popular in our country' for a clear subject and verb. Express contrast with 'but'. Use 'some people only hope to have a bike' (verb infinitive) and 'do not actually ride one' to clarify meaning. Suggestion: keep subject-verb clear, avoid repetition, and use concise clauses to convey contrast.