Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise, grammatically correct, and follow basic structure: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Fix tense and vocabulary errors (e.g., say ‘owned’ instead of ‘wrote it down’). Keep answer to no more than 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I owned a bicycle when I was about ten years old. I had it for around two years, and I used it to ride to my friends’ houses and to school. However, I eventually sold it because I needed money for other things.

提案: Start with a clear opinion, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words (e.g., ‘because’, ‘so’). Avoid vague phrases and awkward expressions like ‘their amenity’. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., ‘affordable’, ‘practical’). Limit to 2–3 sentences for clarity.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are affordable and practical for getting through heavy traffic. For example, many commuters prefer motorcycles or scooters to save time, and they are relatively cheap to buy and maintain.

× I had a bike when I was around the age 10 years and I wrote it down for like 2 years and then I sold it. Yes I did have it.

✓ I had a bike when I was around the age of 10 and I owned it for about 2 years and then I sold it. Yes, I did.

Errors: 'the age 10 years' is incorrect phrasing and redundant; use 'the age of 10' or '10 years old'. 'wrote it down' is incorrect verb choice for possession; use 'owned it'. 'for like 2 years' is informal; use 'for about 2 years'. Suggestions: Use 'the age of 10' or 'when I was 10 years old'; replace 'wrote it down' with 'owned it' to show possession; prefer 'about' instead of 'like' in formal responses; add commas and contraction or auxiliary verb correctly ('Yes, I did').

× Yes, definitely, bikes are popular around my country and most of them actually use bikes all over the place as it's more convenient to move around the traffic and most of the people can purchase bikes. Well though it's their amenity to do that.

✓ Yes, definitely. Bikes are popular throughout my country and many people use them because it is more convenient to get around traffic, and most people can afford bikes. However, it is their personal choice to do so.

Errors: 'around my country' should be 'throughout my country' or 'in my country'. 'most of them actually use bikes all over the place' has unclear reference and wordy phrasing; use 'many people use them'. 'move around the traffic' is incorrect preposition and collocation; use 'get around traffic'. 'most of the people can purchase bikes' is awkward; use 'most people can afford bikes'. 'Well though it's their amenity' is incorrect word choice; 'amenity' is wrong noun; use 'personal choice'. Suggestions: Use correct prepositions ('throughout', 'in'), replace vague references ('them') with clear nouns ('people' or 'bikes'), use standard collocations ('get around traffic'), and choose appropriate nouns for meaning ('choice' instead of 'amenity').