Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make your answer more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct tense and possessive forms and avoid trailing or unclear phrases.

例: Yes, I did. I had a three-wheeled trainer bike that I used to learn to ride. My mother would often push and guide me while I practised, which helped me gain confidence quickly.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence then two specific supporting points with linking words. Remove hesitations and unclear phrases; use precise vocabulary (e.g. "rural residents", "transport goods"). Keep within four sentences.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. In rural areas many people use bicycles to transport goods from farms because they are cheap and durable. Additionally, bicycles are common in towns for short journeys and in local markets where they are often used for deliveries.

× When I was a child, I had a bike and that was a trainer's bike.

✓ When I was a child, I had a bike and it was a trainer bike.

The original sentence mixes possessive 'that was a trainer's bike' which is awkward; using 'it was a trainer bike' or 'a trainer's bike' as noun form is clearer. This is a past-tense description, so 'had' and 'was' are correct; the correction improves noun form and fluency.

× I can remember very well.

✓ I remember it very well.

Using 'can remember' is not wrong but 'I remember it very well' is more natural when narrating past events. Both convey present ability to recall, but the simple present 'remember' fits storytelling better.

× It has three wheels and my mom usually uses it for my training.

✓ It had three wheels and my mom usually used it to help me learn.

The tense should match the past narrative ('had' and 'used'). Also 'uses it for my training' is awkward; 'used it to help me learn' is clearer. Adjusting articles not strictly necessary here, but tense agreement was corrected.

× I was able to use it to learn how to ride bike and then the point I was giving a.

✓ I was able to use it to learn how to ride a bike, and then I was able to ride on my own.

Original sentence is fragmented and missing articles ('a bike') and a complete clause after 'the point I was giving a.' The correction provides a complete, past-tense sequence that makes sense in context.

× Most LM people, especially those in the rural areas, normally use it to transport their goods from the farm.

✓ Most people, especially those in rural areas, normally use bikes to transport goods from the farm.

The original has unclear 'Most LM people' and uses singular 'it' to refer to plural 'bikes.' Correction makes subject and verb agree and clarifies plural reference with 'bikes' and 'goods.'

× So the consumer umm points, I mean the FA, the market where they are being sold generally is a means of one of the means of transportation that we have in my country.

✓ So the markets where they are sold are one of the means of transportation we have in my country.

Original sentence is disfluent and has redundant phrases ('is a means of one of the means'). Correction simplifies structure, fixes subject-verb agreement ('markets... are') and removes filler words for clarity.

× So it's very popular.

✓ So they are very popular.

Refers to 'bikes' (plural), so use plural pronoun 'they are' instead of singular 'it's.' The present tense is acceptable when stating general facts; correcting pronoun agreement improves grammar.