Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammatical accuracy and clarity. Start with a direct topic sentence (e.g. “No, I didn’t have a bike as a child.”). Avoid filler words (uh, umm). Use the correct tense and simpler phrasing: say why you didn’t have a bike and add one clear supporting detail. Keep it within 2–3 concise sentences and use linking words if adding details (for example, “because” or “so”).

例: No, I didn’t have a bike as a child. My father bought me a small electric car instead, so I spent most of my playtime driving that around the yard.

提案: Give a clearer, more specific answer with fewer hesitations. Start with a direct opinion (e.g. “No, bikes are not very popular.”). Then provide 2 specific reasons using linking words (for example, “because” and “also”), such as car ownership, availability of public transport, or lack of cycling infrastructure. Avoid repeating words and finish with a short consequence or example.

例: No, bikes are not very popular in my country. People usually drive cars to work because many cities are designed for cars, and public buses are also widely used, so cycling is uncommon.

× No, unfortunately I hadn't uh, umm, by bike because my father, uh, bought me an E car for me and umm, I enjoyed the I enjoyed driving at my.

✓ No, unfortunately I didn't have a bike because my father bought me an electric car, and I enjoyed driving it.

The student used past perfect 'hadn't' incorrectly; simple past 'didn't have' is appropriate for a past state. 'by bike' is incorrect word choice; use 'have a bike'. 'bought me an E car for me' is redundant and awkward; use 'bought me an electric car'. Repetition 'I enjoyed the I enjoyed' should be one clause and the object for 'driving' is 'it' (the car). Suggestion: Use simple past for past possession and clear, non-redundant phrasing (didn't have a bike; my father bought me an electric car; I enjoyed driving it).

× Unfortunately, no. We usually use a cars, uh, to get our destination and, uh, work, uh, and also we use uh, public transportation, uh, because the government, uh, uh, doesn't, uh, government.

✓ Unfortunately, no. We usually use cars to get to our destinations and to go to work, and we also use public transportation because the government does not provide enough support.

The original has 'a cars' which mixes singular article with plural noun; correct is 'cars'. 'Get our destination' is incorrect collocation; use 'get to our destinations' or 'reach our destinations'. Repetition and missing verb after 'government doesn't' causes incomplete meaning; supply a clear predicate such as 'provide enough support'. Suggestion: Match articles to noun number (no 'a' before plural), use 'get to' + destination, and complete the clause about the government with an appropriate verb phrase.