Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Сформулируйте ответ более ясно и грамматически правильно: начните с краткого утверждения, затем добавьте одну-две конкретные детали (кто подарил, как он выглядел, какое значение имел). Избегайте лишних слов и повторов, используйте связки (for example, because, and) чтобы логично связать мысли. Проверьте порядок слов и времена (e.g., "was given to me" вместо "came me").

例: Yes. I had a green bike when I was a child. My parents gave it to me for my birthday, and it was my first bike. It had a small bell and training wheels, so I felt proud and excited to ride around the neighborhood.

提案: Дайте более структурированный ответ: начните с прямого мнения (Yes/No), затем приведите конкретные причины и примеры, используя связующие слова (for example, however, because). Избегайте разговорных сокращений ("’cause") и неясных фраз ("like that"). Сравнение с мотоциклами требует объяснения почему вы так думаете.

例: Yes, I think bikes are quite popular in my country because I see many cyclists on the streets and bike lanes every day. For example, people often use bicycles for short trips to work or shops. However, motorcycles are more common for longer journeys because they are faster and more convenient.

× When I was a child, I had a green bike which came me from my parents and my birthday, and it was my first bike in my whole life.

✓ When I was a child, I had a green bike that was given to me by my parents for my birthday, and it was my first bike.

The phrase 'came me from my parents and my birthday' is ungrammatical because 'come' in this context requires the passive past participle 'given' to show that the bike was received by the speaker. Use 'given to me by my parents for my birthday' to show the agent (parents) and the occasion (birthday). Also 'in my whole life' is redundant with 'first bike' and can be omitted. Suggestion: use the passive past participle 'given' after 'was' and include the preposition 'to' for the recipient; use 'for' to indicate the occasion.

× Uh, it gave me a lot of emotions that I can't say by my.

✓ Uh, it gave me a lot of emotions that I can't put into words.

The phrase 'can't say by my' is incorrect pronoun and verb usage. English uses the expression 'put into words' to mean 'express feelings'. 'By my' is not a correct pronoun phrase in this context. Suggestion: replace the whole phrase with the fixed expression 'put into words' or 'describe' and use correct object placement: 'I can't put into words'.

× I think, yes, 'cause I see bikers every day, every night on our street, on the road and like that.

✓ I think so, because I see bikers every day and every night on our street and on the road.

Use 'so' rather than a comma after 'I think' for natural English. "'Cause" is informal; use 'because' in standard speech. The phrase 'and like that' is vague and informal; remove it or replace with a clearer phrase. Also 'every day, every night' is better joined with 'and'. Suggestion: use 'because' and combine the time expressions with 'and' for clarity.

× But mostly I think it's better motorcycles.

✓ But mostly I think motorcycles are better.

The original sentence 'it's better motorcycles' has incorrect word order and comparison structure. 'Better' modifies 'motorcycles', so the correct order is 'motorcycles are better.' Also avoid using 'it' as a dummy subject here. Suggestion: state the subject 'motorcycles' first and then the comparative adjective 'are better' to make a correct comparative statement.