Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and relevant but can be improved by combining short sentences into a concise topic sentence and adding one specific detail. Avoid redundant phrasing like “in color” and “during my childhood days.” Use a linking phrase to make it flow naturally.

例: Yes — I had a red bike when I was a child. I loved riding it around the neighborhood, and my father bought it for me as a reward for doing well at school.

提案: Your answer addresses the question but contains errors (’spikes’ instead of ‘bikes’), repetition, awkward grammar and run-on sentences. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words (for example, ‘because’ or ‘so’). Keep sentences concise and correct comparative structures (e.g. ‘more convenient than cars’).

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because many people use them to commute short distances. For example, they are more convenient than cars in cities since bikes can filter through traffic and are cheaper to maintain.

× Well I personally believe spikes are very popular as many people use them to commute from one place to another.

✓ Well, I personally believe bikes are very popular as many people use them to commute from one place to another.

The student wrote 'spikes' instead of 'bikes', which is a wrong word rather than pluralization but results in a singular/plural/content error. Replace with the correct plural noun 'bikes'. Also add a comma after 'Well' for natural speech punctuation.

× I I think they are very helpful and quite beneficial than the other vehicles which are 4 Wheelers because they are stuck in traffic jams other than the bikes which can ride easily.

✓ I think they are more helpful and more beneficial than other vehicles, like four-wheelers, because those vehicles get stuck in traffic jams while bikes can move more easily.

Multiple errors: duplicate 'I', incorrect comparative structure 'quite beneficial than' should be 'more beneficial than' (comparative adjective), incorrect capitalization and form '4 Wheelers' changed to 'four-wheelers', awkward contrast 'other than the bikes' changed to 'while bikes'. Suggestions: remove duplicate words, use correct comparative forms (more + adjective), hyphenate compound nouns 'four-wheelers', and use 'while' or 'whereas' for contrast. Also prefer 'move more easily' over 'ride easily' for clarity.