Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammatical accuracy, clarity and conciseness. Start with a direct topic sentence in the past tense, then give one or two specific supporting details using appropriate linking words. Avoid repetition and filler words. For example, say clearly whether you had a bike, why or why not, and mention anything relevant (e.g. your parents' decision, safety concerns, or where you lived).

例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child. My parents thought it was unsafe for me to ride on busy roads, and we also lived in a hilly area where biking was difficult. As a result, I usually walked or took the bus to school.

提案: Improve sentence fluency, accuracy and specificity. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then support it with one or two specific reasons using linking words (for example, because/so). Use correct verb forms and avoid repetition. Add a concrete example or brief statistic if possible to make the answer more convincing.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are an affordable and convenient way to commute. For example, many students and workers ride bikes to colleges and offices to avoid traffic and save money on fuel. In busy cities, bike lanes and parking make cycling a practical choice.

× No, I don't have bike and I was in childhood because I don't have because on on that time I didn't have any knowledge about how to how I travel by bike or how I use the bike through travelling.

✓ No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because at that time I didn't know how to ride a bike or how to use it for travelling.

Multiple sentence-structure and related grammar errors: wrong tense (mixing present 'don't have' with past), missing articles ('a bike'), redundant and repeated words ('because on on'), awkward clause order. Suggestion: keep past tense for childhood (use 'didn't have'), include the article 'a' before 'bike', replace 'in childhood' with 'when I was a child', and simplify the explanation to 'I didn't know how to ride a bike or how to use it for travelling.'

× Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country because everyone uses bike for traveling, to go there work and to go there college and university.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country because many people use bikes for travelling to work, college, and university.

Errors include incorrect noun number ('bike' should be 'bikes' or 'use bikes'), awkward phrase 'everyone' with impossible absolutism, and wrong preposition/word order ('to go there work' should be 'to work'). Suggestion: use plural nouns consistently ('bikes', 'people use bikes'), and use correct prepositions ('to work', 'to college and university').

× They they mostly people prefer bikes because it is convenient and it is it is not much expensive.

✓ Most people prefer bikes because they are convenient and not very expensive.

Problems: repetition ('They they'), incorrect word order ('mostly people' should be 'most people'), subject-verb agreement and pronoun reference ('it is convenient' should refer to 'bikes' so plural 'they are convenient'), and incorrect phrasing 'not much expensive' (correct is 'not very expensive' or 'inexpensive'). Suggestion: remove repetitions, use 'most people', match plural subject with plural verbs/pronouns, and use natural adverb 'very' or adjective 'inexpensive'.