Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific detail or reason. Avoid fillers (uh, I think) and minor grammatical errors (use "when I was" not "when I reached 20 years old of age"). Keep to at most 2–3 sentences.

例: No, I didn't have a bike as a child. I only bought one when I was about 20 because I needed it for commuting to university.

提案: Organize your answer: give a clear main idea, then add two specific supporting points using linking words. Correct repetition and grammar (e.g., "four-wheelers", "most of the population", avoid repeated words). Use precise vocabulary like "affordable" and "avoid traffic". Limit to 2–4 sentences.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country. Firstly, they are much cheaper than cars, so many middle- and low-income people prefer them. Secondly, bikes are convenient for short trips and help riders avoid heavy traffic in cities.

× I only got it when I reached I think 20 years old of age.

✓ I only got it when I reached, I think, 20 years of age.

The sentence has awkward word order and unnecessary words for indicating age in the past. Use 'reached 20 years of age' or more naturally 'when I was 20'. Insert commas around 'I think' as a parenthetical. Suggestion: say 'I only got it when I was 20.' This keeps past tense consistent and is idiomatic.

× Yes, bikes are really properly in my country because they are.

✓ Yes, bikes are really popular in my country because they are.

The word 'properly' is incorrect here; the intended adjective is 'popular'. 'Really' correctly modifies 'popular'. Replace 'properly' with 'popular' to convey meaning. Also remove the redundant 'because they are' or complete it with a reason, as done in the next clause.

× They are far cheaper than 4 Wheelers and since most of the since most of the population in in my country are middle to low class income once they prefer biking because it's really affordable and also beats the traffic.

✓ They are far cheaper than four-wheelers, and since most of the population in my country have middle- to low-income levels, they prefer biking because it is affordable and also helps them avoid traffic.

Multiple structural errors: repetition ('since most of the since most of'), capitalization ('4 Wheelers'), incorrect plural agreement and word choice ('are middle to low class income' should be 'have middle- to low-income levels'), unnecessary word 'once', and pronoun/verb agreement. Use 'have' or 'are' carefully; here 'population' as a collective noun can take plural or singular verb—use 'have' to refer to members' incomes. Replace 'beats the traffic' with 'helps them avoid traffic' for idiomatic English. Also remove duplicated words and fix punctuation.