Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be careful with tense and sentence structure; answer directly with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then add one or two concise supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundancy and keep it under five sentences. Also replace vague phrases like “so much fun” with a specific activity or memory to show fuller content.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My mother bought it for me because I was very outgoing, and I rode it every day around our neighborhood. As a result, I became quite confident cycling on busy streets and often raced with friends on weekends.

提案: Answer directly and avoid filler sounds. Use clearer vocabulary and link your ideas logically: state your opinion, give reasons and a specific example. Replace vague phrases like “somehow transportation” with precise wording and correct minor grammar errors.

例: Yes, I think bicycles are still popular in my country, especially in rural areas. Because public transport is limited there, many people use bikes for daily commuting to markets and schools. For instance, in my village most families own at least one bicycle for errands and short trips.

× Yes, I do have a bike when I was a child and as far as I can remember, I think my mom bought me the bike because I was an outgoing child.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child, and as far as I can remember, my mom bought it because I was an outgoing child.

The sentence mixes present tense 'do have' with past time reference 'when I was a child.' Use past tense 'had' to match the time frame. Also 'bought me the bike' is acceptable but 'bought it' is more natural here. Suggestion: Keep verb tenses consistent by using past tense for past events and simplify pronoun use ('it') to avoid repetition.

× I love to play outside and I really had so much fun.

✓ I loved to play outside and I had so much fun.

The clause begins with 'I love' (present) then 'I had' (past), causing tense inconsistency. Since the context is childhood, change 'love' to past 'loved' to match 'had.' Also 'really had so much fun' is redundant; keep both if emphasizing but ensure consistent tense.

× I think so because umm, I'm in a RU, I'm in a rural area and bikes are somehow transportation to us.

✓ I think so because, um, I live in a rural area and bikes are a common means of transportation for us.

'I'm in a RU' is unclear; replace with 'I live in a rural area.' 'Bikes are somehow transportation to us' is ungrammatical: use 'a common means of transportation' or 'an important form of transportation.' Also 'umm' should be 'um' if transcribing hesitation. Use appropriate articles ('a rural area', 'a common means').