Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and precise. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Avoid filler sounds like “Umm” and vague phrase “so little.”

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. For example, I learned to ride it in our neighborhood park at about six years old, and I used it daily to visit friends and run small errands.

提案: Give a clear opinion, use correct grammar and specific reasons with linking words. Replace vague or incorrect phrases (e.g., “use spas”) with accurate terms like “use cars” or “use public transport.” Limit answer to one topic sentence and one or two supporting details. Avoid fillers.

例: I don't think bikes are very popular in my country because most people prefer cars or public transportation for convenience. However, in recent years some cities have introduced bike lanes and rental schemes, which might increase cycling in the future.

× Umm yes, I had a bike when I was so little.

✓ Umm yes, I had a bike when I was very young.

The sentence uses 'so little' which is unnatural for describing age. This is an issue with adjective/adverb choice within present/past tense context (classified here as Present tense issue because it affects tense-appropriate phrasing). Replace 'so little' with 'very young' to sound natural. Suggestion: use age-related adjectives like 'very young' or 'little' without 'so'.

× Umm I don't think so because we usually ride car and use spas in this time.

✓ Umm I don't think so because we usually drive cars and use buses at this time.

There are multiple grammar issues: 'ride car' is incorrect collocation and count form; it should be 'drive cars' or 'ride in cars' (plural to match 'we' and general habit). 'use spas' is unlikely in context; likely intended 'use buses'. Also 'in this time' is unnatural; use 'at this time' or 'nowadays'. This is primarily a subject-verb agreement and count noun issue: 'we' requires plural noun or appropriate verb phrase. Suggestions: choose correct verbs for vehicles ('drive' for cars, 'ride' for buses/trains), make nouns plural for general habits, and use 'at this time' or 'nowadays' for temporal reference.