Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, tense and sentence structure. Begin with a clear topic sentence in the past tense, then add one or two supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and keep it natural and concise.

例: Yes, I did. I had a small red bicycle when I was about eight, and I used to ride it to my friend’s house every afternoon. Because I practiced regularly, I became quite confident riding on busy streets.

提案: Clarify the main idea and use correct grammar and vocabulary. Start with a direct opinion, then support it with specific reasons and linking words. Use appropriate phrases (e.g., ‘young people’, ‘learn to balance’, ‘improve balance and coordination’). Keep to 1–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I think bikes are very popular, especially among young people. They often learn to ride as children because cycling helps them develop balance and coordination, and many teenagers use bikes for short trips to school or shops.

× Yes, I have a bike when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child.

The sentence mixes present tense 'have' with past time marker 'when I was a child', causing a tense inconsistency. Use the past tense 'had' to match the past time frame. Suggestion: Use past tense for actions or possessions that occurred in the past (I had, I went, I saw).

× Yes, especially for young people because the years like for a practicing how to balance their body when cycling and also improve their split stability.

✓ Yes, especially for young people, because it helps them practise balancing their bodies when cycling and also improves their overall stability.

This sentence has several issues: incorrect word order ('the years like for a practicing'), wrong verb forms ('practicing' used incorrectly), awkward noun phrase ('split stability' is unclear), and tense/subject-verb agreement. I corrected to 'it helps them practise' to clearly show the action and purpose, used 'balancing their bodies' for correct noun phrase and verb form, and replaced 'split stability' with 'overall stability' which is clearer. Suggestions: Keep a clear subject (it/this), use correct verb forms (helps + verb), ensure noun phrases are natural, and avoid unclear terms; break long ideas into simpler clauses.