Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve clarity and grammar: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid unnecessary words, fix tense and article usage, and limit to 3–4 concise sentences. Add one specific detail (e.g., how you felt or a memory) using a linking word. Example improvements: replace “I did it” with “I had one,” correct “it's very expensive” to past tense if talking about childhood, and remove filler words like “uh” and repeated words.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. It was a pink bicycle that my brother gave me as my first gift, and I loved it. Because it was special, I rode it every day around our neighborhood and felt very proud.

提案: Make your answer direct and grammatical: start with a clear opinion (Yes/No) and support it with two specific reasons. Use correct tense and linking words like “because” or “for example.” Avoid repetition and unfinished sentences. Be specific about who uses bikes and in what situations (e.g., students commuting to school, people for short trips).

例: Yes, I think bicycles are very popular in my country because many students and workers use them to commute short distances. For example, primary and secondary school students often ride bikes to school to save time and money, and in cities people use them for quick errands.

× I did it and it's very expensive.

✓ I had one and it was very expensive.

The original uses 'did' incorrectly; 'have a bike' requires a noun, not the verb 'do'. Also tense consistency: the question asks about childhood (past), so use past tense 'had' and 'was'. Replace 'it' with 'one' or 'a bike' for clarity.

× It is the first gift that I got from my brother it and also it also uh have color is pink.

✓ It was the first gift I got from my brother, and it was pink in color.

The original sentence is run-on and has incorrect verb forms. Use past tense 'was' to match 'got', remove redundant words, and correct 'have color is pink' to 'was pink in color' or simply 'was pink'. Punctuation and conjunction 'and' separate ideas properly.

× Yes, I I think that it will be popular in my country because many people will always use to ride a bicycle to school uh, until the especially example for the student, they always arrive when they were in secondary school or primary school, but.

✓ Yes, I think bicycles are popular in my country because many students often ride bicycles to school, especially in primary and secondary school.

The original mixes future and past forms incorrectly and has awkward phrasing. The question asks generally, so present tense ('are popular') is appropriate. Remove unnecessary 'will' and 'use to'. Use 'often ride' for habitual action. 'Especially example for the student' is ungrammatical; replace with 'especially students in primary and secondary school'. Also remove trailing 'but' and filler words for clarity.