Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct and coherent: start with a clear topic sentence stating whether you had a bike, then give concise, specific supporting details (age range, who used the bike, how you used it). Avoid repetition and grammatical errors. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' correctly. Keep answers under 5 sentences.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I used it from about age six until I was twelve because it was the easiest way to get around our neighborhood. My parents were often busy, so I rode the bike to visit friends and go to the local market. It was practical and gave me a lot of independence.

提案: Answer directly, then support with specific reasons and examples. Use smoother linking words (e.g., 'because', 'therefore', 'for example') and avoid hesitation or filler words. Provide one or two clear reasons why bikes are popular and mention who uses them or typical trips.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular where I live. Because I live in a small town with short distances, many people use bicycles for commuting to work and running errands. For example, students and shopkeepers often cycle to school or the market since it is faster and cheaper than driving.

× But I don't actually have a bike.

✓ But I didn't actually have a bike.

The question asks about the past: 'Did you have a bike when you were a child?' The student used present tense 'don't have' which is incorrect for past context. Use past tense with the auxiliary 'did' and 'didn't' to match the time frame. Suggestion: use 'didn't' for negation about past possession.

× When I was quite little as as my parents, they were very busy with their work.

✓ When I was quite little, my parents were very busy with their work.

The original contains an extra phrase 'as as my parents' that makes the sentence ungrammatical. Removing the redundant fragment and placing a comma after the subordinate time clause yields a correct structure. Suggestion: keep the time clause 'When I was quite little' followed by the main clause 'my parents were very busy with their work.'

× So I have the one probably until when I was like 12 years old.

✓ So I had one probably until I was about 12 years old.

The sentence mixes present tense 'have' with a past time reference. Use past tense 'had' to indicate possession in the past. Also simplify 'until when I was like' to 'until I was about' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: use 'had' and 'about' for approximate ages.

× Yeah. So I need, I need a bike to go.

✓ So I needed a bike to get around.

This refers to past necessity, so use past tense 'needed' not present 'need'. 'To go' is incomplete; use a full phrase such as 'to get around' or 'to go to school/work.' Suggestion: state the purpose clearly and match tense to the past context.

× In my opinion, bikes are very common too in the place where I live in, since you know, where I live is very small town.

✓ In my opinion, bikes are very common where I live, since the town I live in is very small.

There is a redundant 'in' and article misuse: 'very small town' needs the article 'a' or restructure to 'the town I live in is very small.' Removing extra words produces a natural sentence. Suggestion: say 'where I live' (no trailing 'in') and use 'a small town' or 'the town I live in is very small.'

× So it's it can be a very convenient to to to just ride a bike to go to work or go to somewhere else.

✓ So it can be very convenient to just ride a bike to go to work or to go somewhere else.

The sentence has repeated words ('it's it', 'to to to') and incorrect use of the adjective 'convenient' with the article 'a.' Remove duplicates, drop the article before 'very convenient,' and simplify 'go to somewhere else' to 'go somewhere else.' Suggestion: use concise phrasing and avoid redundant fillers.