Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cevap kısa ve doğrudan; ancak detay eksik. Daha doğal ve etkili olmak için bir konu cümlesiyle başlayın ve 1-2 cümleyle anı veya sebep ekleyin. Bağlaçlar kullanarak akışı sağlayın (ör. because, so, and). Cümle sayısını 2-4 arasında tutun ve gereksiz tekrar yapmayın.

例: Yes, I did. I had a small red bicycle that my parents bought me for my seventh birthday, and I rode it to the park almost every afternoon. Because of that bike, I learned to balance quickly and became more confident cycling on my own.

提案: Cevap net değil ve tutarsız ifadeler ("too many children", "I have to") kullanılmış; ayrıca dolgu kelimesi ("uh") var. Daha açık ve spesifik gerekçeler verin, geçiş ifadeleri kullanın (e.g. because, for example, moreover) ve tek bir fikir etrafında mantıklı destek sağlayın. 2-4 cümleyle neden popüler olduğunu ve bir örnek veya karşılaştırma ekleyin.

例: Yes, I think bicycles are quite popular in my country because many people use them for short trips and children often learn to ride from a young age. For example, in my neighborhood most families have at least one bike, and local parks and bike lanes make cycling convenient and safe.

× Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country because, uh, too many children have a bike. I have to.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country because many children have bikes.

The phrase 'too many' implies an excessive number and is usually followed by a negative consequence; here it does not fit the intended neutral statement. Also 'a bike' (singular) with 'many children' causes a number mismatch. Use 'many children have bikes' to match plural/plural and convey the intended meaning. Suggestion: use 'many' for neutral quantity and keep nouns consistent in number, e.g., 'many children have bikes'.