Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Speak in the past tense consistently, reduce hesitation, and make sentences clearer and more concise. Start with a direct topic sentence (past simple), then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words (for example, when, because, so). Avoid filler sounds like “uh” and redundant phrases such as “that for him to give me.”

例: Yes. I had a bike when I was a child. My father gave it to me as a gift when I was ten, and I loved it because it was quite expensive and comfortable. For example, I used to ride it around the neighborhood every weekend to visit friends and explore nearby parks.

提案: Give a clear overall opinion, then support it with specific contrasting reasons using linking words (e.g., however, because, for example). Correct grammar (use ‘is’/‘are’ and adjectives) and avoid hesitations. Keep responses to 2–4 sentences max and use precise vocabulary like ‘urban’ and ‘rural’ or ‘congested’.

例: I think bikes are popular in some parts of my country but not everywhere. For example, in small towns and rural areas people often cycle to work because distances are short and roads are quieter. However, in large cities cycling is less common because of heavy traffic and longer commutes.

× Yes, I do have a bike when I was a child, my father, uh, give it to me as a gift.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child; my father gave it to me as a gift.

The sentence mixes present tense 'do have' with past time reference 'when I was a child' and uses the base verb 'give' instead of past 'gave'. Use simple past 'had' and 'gave' to match the past time frame. Suggestion: keep past-time sentences consistently in simple past (subject + past verb), e.g., 'I had' and 'he gave'.

× I really appreciate for my father, uh, that for him to give me uh, that expensive bike when I was 10 years old.

✓ I really appreciate my father for giving me that expensive bike when I was 10 years old.

The phrase 'appreciate for my father' is incorrect; 'appreciate' takes a direct object or 'appreciate someone for something'. Also the structure 'for him to give me' is wordy and unnatural. Use the gerund 'giving' after 'appreciate' when mentioning the action. Suggestion: say 'I appreciate my father for giving me...' or 'I am grateful to my father for giving me...'.

× I always ride my bike to travel place to place to see.

✓ I always rode my bike to travel from place to place to explore.

Verb tense should match past context ('always rode'). Also 'travel place to place to see' is unidiomatic. Use 'from place to place' and a suitable verb like 'explore' or 'see places'. The verb 'travel' can be used, but the prepositional phrase needs 'from' and replace redundant 'to see' with 'to explore'. Suggestion: use 'I always rode my bike to travel from place to place' or 'to see places'.

× Uh, actually it depends where people live.

✓ Uh, actually it depends on where people live.

The verb 'depends' requires the preposition 'on' when followed by a clause. The present tense 'depends' is fine here because this is a general truth. Suggestion: include 'on' after 'depends' -> 'depends on where...'.

× For instance, in my hometown it is a little province so it is convenient for people to ride a bike to go to work or commute.

✓ For instance, my hometown is a small province, so it is convenient for people to ride a bike to go to work or commute.

Original has awkward word order 'in my hometown it is a little province'. Reorder to 'my hometown is a small province'. Also 'little' is acceptable but 'small' is more natural. The rest is acceptable; keep comma before 'so'. Suggestion: use clear subject-verb order: 'my hometown is...'.

× But for the large city it not convenience as my hometown.

✓ But for a large city it is not as convenient as my hometown.

Several issues: missing auxiliary 'is' for present tense ('it is not'), incorrect adjective form 'convenience' should be 'convenient', and article use before 'large city' ('a large city'). Also comparative structure needs 'as...as'. Suggestion: 'But in a large city it is not as convenient as my hometown.' Replace 'for' with 'in' for natural phrasing.