Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear and relevant, with good personal detail. To improve, make sentences grammatically consistent (use past tense throughout), avoid small errors (e.g., 'in that time' → 'at that time', 'run' → 'ran'), and keep responses concise (maximum 4–5 sentences). Add a brief linking phrase to connect ideas smoothly and a closing comment about how that experience affected you (opinion or result).

例: I did. I got my first bike when I was four — my mother gave it to me for my birthday, and I was so excited. At that time my dad ran alongside me in the park to help me keep my balance, so I learned to ride quickly. That early confidence made me enjoy outdoor activities as I grew up.

提案: Your answer communicates a basic idea but is hesitant, disfluent, and ungrammatical in places. To improve, remove filler words (umm, uh), use clear sentence structure, and provide specific supporting reasons or examples. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give two specific reasons linked logically (use linking words like 'because' and 'for example'). Keep it to 2–3 concise sentences.

例: I would say bikes are not very popular in my country. This is because many people prefer public transport or private cars for convenience, and city roads are often busy and unsafe for cyclists. For example, most commuters in my city take buses or motorcycles rather than bicycles.

× I got my first bike when I was 4.

✓ I got my first bike when I was four.

Use words for small numbers in formal writing or speech; not a grammar error per se but style for clarity. Change '4' to 'four' to match spoken/written English conventions.

× My mom gave it to me on my birthday and in that time I was so excited.

✓ My mom gave it to me on my birthday, and at that time I was so excited.

Incorrect prepositional phrase 'in that time' should be 'at that time' when referring to a specific moment in the past. This fits past tense narrative.

× I love riding in the park while my dad run alongside to help me keep my balance.

✓ I loved riding in the park while my dad ran alongside to help me keep my balance.

The sentence describes a past habitual action, so verbs should be in past tense: 'love' -> 'loved' and 'run' -> 'ran'. This fixes tense consistency.

× MMM I would say not really because umm actually MO like I mean most people in my country umm, love to travel by public transportations or uh some.

✓ I would say not really because most people in my country prefer to travel by public transport or by car.

Multiple issues: unnecessary filler words removed for clarity. 'Prefer' better expresses habitual preference. 'Public transportations' is incorrect plural; use 'public transport' or 'public transportation'. Also 'or uh some' was unclear; clarified to 'or by car' to match next clause.

× They also have their personal car so I think bike quite umm not.

✓ They also have their own cars, so I think bikes are not very common.

Pronoun and noun number agreement: 'their personal car' should be 'their own cars' if speaking about people generally. 'bike quite umm not' is ungrammatical; rewritten to 'bikes are not very common' to provide a grammatically correct, clear statement with subject-verb agreement and correct article/number usage.