Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise, correct grammar, and use a clear topic sentence followed by specific supporting details with linking words. Fix tense and article errors, avoid repetition, and replace vague phrases. Aim for 2–3 sentences: one direct answer and one supporting detail with a linking word and a brief example or result.

例: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child. Because my family couldn't afford one, I usually walked to school or sometimes rode my older sister's bike, and I often wished I had my own because cycling looked fun and free me time.

提案: Good direct answer with reasons. To improve, add a linking phrase and a specific example or statistic to make it more concrete, and vary vocabulary slightly. Keep within 2–3 sentences and avoid repeating the same idea.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my hometown because they are a convenient and inexpensive way to travel. For example, many commuters cycle to work during rush hour to avoid heavy traffic and crowded buses, which makes cycling a practical choice.

× No I didn't. I didn't have a bike when I was child.

✓ No, I didn't. I didn't have a bike when I was a child.

Missing article 'a' before 'child' and missing comma after 'No' for natural speech flow. The phrase 'when I was a child' requires the indefinite article 'a'. Add a comma after interjection 'No' to separate it from the rest of the sentence. Suggestion: Include necessary articles with age/role nouns and punctuate short responses: 'No, I didn't.'

× My family couldn't afford 1 so I usually walked to school or a road on my older sister's bike.

✓ My family couldn't afford one, so I usually walked to school or rode on my older sister's bike.

The digit '1' is inappropriate in formal writing; spell out 'one'. The verb 'road' is a wrong form; the correct past tense of 'ride' is 'rode'. Also add a comma before 'so' to join clauses. Suggestion: Use correct word forms ('one', 'rode') and comma with coordinating conjunctions. Note: This correction addresses quantifier formatting and verb choice; verb tense corrected to past to match context.

× When she left me I wished I had my own because it looked like so much fun.

✓ When she lent me her bike, I wished I had my own because it looked like so much fun.

The original 'When she left me' is ambiguous and implies abandonment; likely the student meant 'lent me' (gave temporarily). Also add a comma after the subordinate clause for clarity. 'Own' needs an explicit noun 'bike' can be omitted but 'my own' is acceptable; clarified with 'her bike' in first clause. Suggestion: Use precise verbs to avoid confusing pronoun references and unintended meanings.

× Yes, I think bikes are very popular in my hometown because they are a convenient and inexpensive way to get around.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are very popular in my hometown because they are a convenient and inexpensive way to get around.

This sentence is grammatically correct: subject-verb agreement, articles, and tense are appropriate. No changes needed.

× Many people prefer cycling for short trips to work or school, especially when the traffic is heavy or public transport is crowded.

✓ Many people prefer cycling for short trips to work or school, especially when the traffic is heavy or public transport is crowded.

This sentence is grammatically correct and natural. No changes needed.