Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 문장이 시제와 문법에서 일관성이 없고 표현이 어색합니다. 답변은 직접적인 주제 문장으로 시작한 후, 2–3개의 구체적이고 논리적인 세부사항으로 확장하세요. 예를 들어 과거 시제(‘had’, ‘rode’)를 사용하고 연결어(‘and’, ‘so’, ‘because’, ‘also’)를 적절히 사용해 자연스럽게 이어지도록 하세요. 불필요한 문구(예: 'I got a mistake')는 제거하고, 경험에 대한 구체적 예시(누구와, 어디서, 얼마나 자주)를 추가하면 점수가 오릅니다.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. I used to ride it with my family every weekend to the nearby park, which was a fun way to spend time together. Because the roads were quiet, I felt safe learning new tricks and cycling longer distances.

提案: 의견은 분명하지만 문법과 어휘 선택에서 개선이 필요합니다. 단수/복수와 관사 사용(‘electric bicycles’, ‘the streets’ 등)을 바로잡고, 이유를 논리적으로 나열할 때 연결어(‘firstly’, ‘besides’, ‘therefore’)를 사용해 흐름을 개선하세요. 또 통계나 구체적 상황(예: 공유 서비스 이름, 출퇴근 시간 이용 증가) 같은 세부사항을 추가하면 신뢰도가 높아집니다.

例: Yes, I think bicycles are very popular in my country. One reason is the widespread availability of electric bicycles and bike-sharing services on the streets, which makes cycling convenient for short trips. Besides, many people prefer bikes to cars for commuting because they are cheaper and help avoid traffic jams.

× Yes I have a bike, I usually ride it with my family and enjoyed it actually sometimes.

✓ Yes, I had a bike. I usually rode it with my family and actually enjoyed it sometimes.

The question asks about the past (when you were a child), so verbs should be in the past tense. The student used present tense 'have' and 'ride' and mixed in 'enjoyed' (past) causing inconsistency. Use past simple for completed habitual actions in childhood: 'had', 'rode', 'enjoyed'. Also add commas for clarity and move 'actually' before 'enjoyed' for natural word order.

× I got a mistake.

✓ I made a mistake.

'Got a mistake' is not idiomatic in English. To express committing an error, use 'made a mistake' (past simple). 'Got' is incorrect collocation here.

× Yeah, I think bikes are popular in my country because actually there are so many electric bicycle in the street.

✓ Yeah, I think bikes are popular in my country because there are so many electric bicycles on the streets.

Subject is general present so present tense 'are' is correct. The noun 'bicycle' should be plural 'bicycles' to match 'so many'. Use preposition 'on' and plural 'streets' or 'in the streets' is acceptable; 'on the streets' is more natural. Remove redundant 'actually' or place it for emphasis; keep sentence concise.

× Also we can borrow the electric bicycle.

✓ Also, we can borrow electric bicycles.

When speaking generally, plural form 'electric bicycles' is appropriate. Article 'the' is unnecessary because the statement refers to bicycles in general. Add a comma after 'Also' for clarity.

× So many people use the bicycle more than the vehicle.

✓ Many people use bicycles more than cars.

'The bicycle' and 'the vehicle' are awkward and uncountable in this context. Use plural nouns 'bicycles' and a more natural contrast 'cars'. Also use 'more than' to compare usage; restructure to 'use bicycles more than cars' for clarity.