Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (“uh”, “like”), correct tense consistency, and limit to maximum five sentences. Add one specific detail (e.g., where you rode, a memorable moment) and use a linking word to connect ideas. Pronoun and verb accuracy: say “I used to ride a bike” and “I don’t ride it anymore.”

例: Yes, I did. I used to ride my bike every day after school with my best friend, usually around the park near our house. It’s one of my strongest childhood memories because we would race each other and feel the fresh air on summer evenings. However, I don’t ride a bike anymore because I now live in a busy city where cycling is difficult and unsafe.

提案: Provide a clear direct answer, then support with specific reasons and an example. Use linking words (e.g., “however”, “for example”) and avoid vague phrasing like “most of us.” Mention specific factors (traffic, infrastructure, weather) to make the response more precise and convincing.

例: Yes, bikes are popular among children in my country; many families encourage kids to learn cycling for play and exercise. However, adults rarely use bikes for commuting because city roads are congested and there is limited cycling infrastructure. For example, there are few dedicated bike lanes in my city, so most adults prefer motorbikes or cars for safety and convenience.

× For sure. When I was a child, I used to play bikes all the time after school with my friend.

✓ For sure. When I was a child, I used to ride a bike all the time after school with my friend.

The verb 'play' is incorrect with 'bikes'; the correct collocation is 'ride a bike'. Also 'bikes' should be singular 'a bike' when referring to the action of riding one bike. Use of 'used to' is correct for past habitual actions.

× I think that's one of like my core memory from, uh, when I'm still a little kid because it's just so fun, like getting the fresh air and playing with your friend.

✓ I think that's one of my core memories from when I was a little kid because it was so fun to get fresh air and play with my friend.

Several issues: 'one of like my core memory' should be 'one of my core memories' (plural noun after 'one of'); 'from, uh, when I'm still a little kid' mixes tenses and should be past 'when I was a little kid'; 'it's just so fun, like getting the fresh air and playing with your friend' should be changed to parallel infinitives 'it was so fun to get fresh air and play with my friend.' This fixes pronoun/tense agreement and noun number.

× But I don't really play it again.

✓ But I don't really play with it anymore.

The student uses present simple 'I don't really play it again' which is unnatural. 'Play it' is incorrect collocation for a bicycle; use 'play with it' or better 'ride it'. Also 'again' is less natural than 'anymore' for negative present state. Depending on intended meaning, present perfect 'I haven't ridden it since' could also work.

× I think for children it's quite popular.

✓ I think bicycles are quite popular among children.

Sentence is understandable but more natural phrasing uses the noun 'bicycles' and preposition 'among' for groups. This corrects word choice and prepositional use.

× It's like a transport that kids use to play, but for adults most of us don't really use it since the road is very inconvenient to use bikes.

✓ They are a means of transport that kids use to play, but most adults don't really use them because the roads are inconvenient for bicycles.

Pronoun and number issues: 'It's like a transport' should be plural 'They are a means of transport' or 'Bicycles are a means of transport'; 'kids use to play' needs 'use to play' -> 'use to play with' or 'use for play'; 'most of us don't really use it' mismatches number and pronoun—use 'them'; 'the road is very inconvenient to use bikes' is ungrammatical: use 'the roads are inconvenient for bicycles' or 'it is inconvenient to ride bikes on the roads.' This fixes pronoun-number agreement and prepositional choice.