Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve verb tenses, word choice and sentence clarity. Start with a clear topic sentence in the past tense, use appropriate past continuous/simple forms, replace awkward adjectives (e.g. “sweeter”) with natural ones (e.g. “happy” or “joyful”), and keep answers concise (maximum 3–4 sentences). Add one specific detail (where or how often) with a linking word to support the main idea.

例: Yes, I did. I often rode a bike with my younger sister around our neighborhood when I was about eight to twelve years old. Riding together made me feel happy and close to my sister, and because we practiced a lot, cycling became one of my favourite hobbies as I grew older.

提案: Clarify the main point and fix grammar and logic. Begin with a direct answer (Yes/No), then explain briefly with specific reasons. Use correct structures (e.g. “bicycles are not very popular” or “they are popular in some areas because…”), avoid vague phrases, and connect ideas with linking words like “because” or “however.” Mention one concrete reason or example (infrastructure, culture, or traffic) to support your view.

例: No, bicycles are not very popular in my country. One reason is that many cities lack safe bike lanes, so cycling can be dangerous. As a result, people prefer motorbikes or cars, especially because traffic congestion and pollution make cycling less practical.

× Yes I did. I ride a bike with my younger sister when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I did. I rode a bike with my younger sister when I was a child.

The sentence mixes past reference ('when I was a child') with present tense 'ride'. Use simple past 'rode' to match the past time frame. Suggestion: use past tense consistently for actions that happened in the past.

× It made me feel sweeter and comfortable and it's become my hobby when I grow up.

✓ It made me feel happy and comfortable, and it became my hobby as I grew up.

'Sweeter' is a comparative adjective that does not fit here; 'happy' or 'pleased' is appropriate. Tenses are inconsistent: 'made' (past) should pair with 'became' (past) because the action of becoming a hobby occurred after childhood. Also 'when I grow up' is present/future; use 'as I grew up' for past context. Suggestion: choose adjectives that match meaning and keep past tense consistent for past events.

× I don't think so because we don't have the bicycle and if you compare it in favor, it's less popular than here and it's quite have a lot of pollution and traffic congestion.

✓ I don't think so because many people here don't have bicycles, and compared to here it is less popular. The city also has a lot of pollution and traffic congestion.

Multiple issues: 'we don't have the bicycle' incorrectly uses definite article and singular noun; use 'bicycles' or 'a bicycle' depending on meaning. The phrase 'if you compare it in favor' is unclear; replace with 'compared to here'. 'It's quite have a lot of pollution' is ungrammatical—combine subject and verb correctly: 'The city also has a lot of pollution'. Suggestions: use plural 'bicycles' for general statements, replace awkward comparative phrasing with 'compared to', and ensure correct subject-verb structure.