Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise, use past tense consistently, avoid filler words, and add one specific detail. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two supporting details using linking words. For example, replace hesitations (“umm let me”) with a brief pause, and correct grammar ("I had a light-blue bike"; "I often used it to hang out with my friends").

例: I did. I had a light-blue bike when I was a child, and I used it almost every day. For example, I often rode it to the park with my friends, which helped me feel independent and active.

提案: Clarify your opinion, correct unclear phrases, use linking words and plural/singular agreement, and give a specific comparison. Say your main idea first, then support it with reasons and a brief example. Replace unclear term “By Pursuit” with “bicycles” and fix grammar ("office workers").

例: Yes, bicycles are quite popular in my country. For instance, many students ride bikes to school because they are cheap and convenient; however, office workers tend to prefer trains since public transport is faster and more reliable for commuting.

× Yes, I have a bike.

✓ Yes, I had a bike.

The question asks about having a bike when you were a child (past). The student used present tense 'have' instead of past 'had'. Use past tense to match the time reference. Suggestion: Use past tense verbs when referring to past time, e.g., 'When I was a child, I had a bike.'

× When I was a child it was umm let me.

✓ When I was a child, it was, um, let me think.

The sentence is disfluent and missing punctuation; 'let me' usually begins a clause like 'let me think'. The student needs to complete the phrase. Suggest using brief pauses and a complete filler: 'um' or 'let me think.' Suggestion: Use 'um' or 'let me think' to signal hesitation and keep sentence structure complete.

× It was a light blue 1 and I often used to use it to hang out with my friend.

✓ It was light blue, and I often used it to hang out with my friends.

'Light blue 1' is incorrect—likely an error; remove '1'. 'Used to use' is redundant; 'used to' or 'used' is enough. 'My friend' should be plural 'my friends' if used with 'hang out' generally, or keep singular with 'a friend'. Also add comma and correct article usage. Suggestion: Avoid redundant 'used to use'—say 'used it' or 'used to ride it.' Ensure noun number matches context (singular/plural).

× Well, I particularly agree that By Pursuit is popular in my country.

✓ Well, I particularly agree that bicycle riding is popular in my country.

'By Pursuit' is not standard English—likely a misphrase for 'bicycle/pursuit' or 'bike riding.' Replace with 'bicycle riding' or 'cycling.' Also 'particularly agree that' is awkward; 'agree that' suffices with 'particularly' optional. Suggestion: Use clear noun phrases like 'cycling' or 'bicycle riding.' Say 'I agree that cycling is popular.'

× For students, it's very, uh, very popular because they usually use it to go to schools.

✓ For students, it's very popular because they usually use it to go to school.

Use the uncountable noun 'school' when talking about attending school in general; 'go to schools' is incorrect here. Also avoid repeating 'very.' Suggestion: Say 'go to school' for general routine; remove redundant adverbs.

× But for office worker it's not so popular because they use trains.

✓ But for office workers it's not so popular because they use trains.

Subject 'office worker' should be plural to match generalization and pronoun 'they.' Add apostrophe in 'it's.' Suggestion: Use plural 'office workers' for general statements about groups.