Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Pronunciation and grammar need correction and answers should be more concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence, use past tense consistently for past events, avoid filler words, and give one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words like “because” and “so” properly and limit to 3–4 sentences.

例: Yes, I did. My parents bought me a bicycle when I finished top of my class in middle school as a reward, and I still keep it for sentimental reasons. However, I don’t ride it anymore because it’s old and unsafe, so I only look at it occasionally.

提案: Make the response more direct and fluent. Begin with a clear opinion, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid fillers like “or stuff” and repetitions. Use more precise vocabulary (e.g., commuting, environmental benefits, promote cycling infrastructure). Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: Bicycles are fairly popular for leisure in my country, but not widely used for commuting. If the government improved cycling infrastructure and safety, more people would cycle to work, which would reduce pollution and improve public health.

× Yeah, I have.

✓ Yes, I did.

The question uses past tense 'Did you have', so the short affirmative answer should match past tense. Using 'have' is present tense and the pronoun usage is fine but the verb form is wrong; replace with 'did'.

× But when I were a child, my parents actually bought it for me because I excel in my exam during my during middle school.

✓ But when I was a child, my parents actually bought it for me because I excelled in my exams during middle school.

'Were' is incorrect for the singular first-person subject in simple past; use 'was' (subject-verb agreement). 'Excel' should be past tense 'excelled' to match the past context. 'Exam' should be plural 'exams' if referring to tests, and remove the repeated 'during'. Also 'during middle school' is the correct prepositional phrase. Suggestions: use consistent past tense and correct subject-verb agreement, and avoid word repetition.

× So they bought me as a reward and I still have it, but I could not use it because, uh, it's already old and right.

✓ So they bought it for me as a reward and I still have it, but I cannot use it because it's already old and broken.

The sentence mixes past and present/modal incorrectly. 'Bought me' is unnatural; say 'bought it for me'. 'Could not use' suggests past inability, but the context ('I still have it') indicates a present inability, so use 'cannot' (present). 'It's already old and right' is ungrammatical; likely meant 'old and broken' or 'worn'. Suggestions: keep tense consistent with current condition and choose accurate adjectives.

× I think bikes are kind of popular in my country, but it's it does not to the extent of people going to work by biking or stuff, but I think we should actually work more this on this kind of thing because you can actually save the environment and it also keeps you healthy.

✓ I think bikes are somewhat popular in my country, but not to the extent that people commute to work by bike. I think we should actually do more to promote this because it can help save the environment and keep people healthy.

Multiple issues: unnecessary repetition ('it's it does not'), incorrect construction 'does not to the extent of' should be 'not to the extent that' (sentence structure error). 'Going to work by biking' is awkward; use 'commute to work by bike'. 'Work more this on this kind of thing' is ungrammatical; use 'do more to promote this'. 'You can actually save the environment and it also keeps you healthy' mixes pronouns and tense; use 'it can help save the environment and keep people healthy' for clarity and parallel structure. Suggestions: simplify phrases, ensure parallel verbs, and correct idiomatic expressions.