Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid repetition (you said "when I was a child" twice and "bicycle" several times). Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Also vary vocabulary slightly (e.g., use "bike" and "cycle"). Keep answers under five sentences.

例: I didn't have a bike as a child. I was too afraid of falling and getting injured, so I never asked my parents for one. However, I did want to learn because other children looked confident riding around the neighborhood.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence, then provide specific examples and use linking words to connect points. Avoid repeating words and streamline phrasing (e.g., "use them to use them"). You can mention specific groups, purposes, and a short reason or example to make the answer concrete.

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country. Many people use them for short commutes because they are cheap and eco-friendly, and schools often encourage children to cycle for exercise. For example, in my city there are bike lanes and a growing number of bike-sharing services that make cycling convenient.

× I did not have any bicycle when I was a child because I was really scared of falling over and getting injured.

✓ I did not have any bicycles when I was a child because I was really scared of falling over and getting injured.

The noun 'bicycle' should be plural after 'any' when referring to an indefinite number or none in general. Use 'any bicycles' to match typical English usage for countable nouns in negative contexts. Suggestion: say 'any bicycles' or 'a bicycle' (e.g. 'I did not have a bicycle') depending on intended emphasis.

× teenagers or even adults use them to use them as a transportation to get around without using any harmful fuels.

✓ teenagers or even adults use them as transportation to get around without using any harmful fuels.

The phrase contains redundant 'use them to use them' and an incorrect article with 'transportation'. Remove the repeated verb and omit 'a' before 'transportation' because 'transportation' in this context is an uncountable noun. Also use the base form 'use them as transportation'. Suggestion: simplify to 'use them as transportation'.

× And it's also a really good form of exercise to get your body fit.

✓ And it's also a really good form of exercise to help keep your body fit.

The verb phrase 'to get your body fit' is understandable but idiomatic English prefers 'to help keep your body fit' or 'to keep your body fit'. The preposition and verb choice should express maintenance of fitness. Suggestion: use 'to help keep your body fit' or 'to keep you fit'.

× And not only teenagers and adults, also kids use them, you know, for fun.

✓ Not only teenagers and adults but also kids use them for fun.

The original sentence is a fragmented structure with awkward placement of 'also' and filler 'you know'. Use the correlative conjunction structure 'Not only... but also...' for parallelism and remove informal filler for clarity. Suggestion: 'Not only teenagers and adults, but also kids, use them for fun.'