Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve clarity, grammar and coherence. Begin with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms, and add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Keep the answer under five sentences. For example, use past tense consistently (e.g., “we bought me a bike” → “my family bought me a bike”), replace unclear phrases ("let me know how to drop drove this") with "taught me how to ride it," and make the result concise ("I could go out to play by myself").

例: Yes, I did. My family bought me a small bike when I was about six, and they taught me how to ride it. After a few lessons, I could ride confidently, so I often went out to play with my friends. Riding my bike gave me a lot of independence.

提案: Work on vocabulary, sentence structure and accuracy. Start with a clear opinion, then give specific reasons using linking words (e.g., "because", "for example"). Use correct nouns and phrases (replace "PIE" and "easy going of bed" with "bikes" and "easy to use"). Mention concrete examples (cheap, convenient, healthy) and keep it concise. Avoid repetition like "very very."

例: Yes, I think bikes are quite popular in my country. They are especially common among children and older people because they are inexpensive and easy to use. For example, many families buy simple bicycles for short trips and exercise, and cycling is a practical way to get around in small towns.

× Yes, of course. When I was a child my family bought for me a little bike and let me know how to drop drove this and from then on I can't.

✓ Yes, of course. When I was a child my family bought me a little bike and taught me how to ride it, and from then on I could go and play on my own.

Multiple past-tense errors and incorrect verbs: 'bought for me' is incorrect word order — use 'bought me'. 'let me know how to drop drove this' is ungrammatical; the intended meaning is 'taught me how to ride it' (teach + object + to-infinitive or teach how to do). 'I can't' conflicts with past narrative; use past ability 'I could' or present 'I can' depending on meaning; here 'from then on' refers to past ability so 'I could' is correct. Also use 'on my own' (fixed phrase) not 'from my own'. Suggestions: keep past tense consistent, use correct verbs (buy someone something, teach someone to do something), and use set phrases like 'on my own'.

× Yes, of course PIE is very very famous in my countries, especially with the elderly and children because of cheap price and also a convenient and easy going of bed.

✓ Yes, of course. Bicycles are very popular in my country, especially with the elderly and children, because they are inexpensive and convenient to use.

Several sentence-structure and word-choice errors: 'PIE' is unclear and likely meant 'bike' or 'bicycles'; use plural 'bicycles' or 'bikes'. 'in my countries' should be 'in my country' (singular). 'because of cheap price' is ungrammatical; use 'because they are inexpensive' or 'because of their low price'. 'a convenient and easy going of bed' is meaningless; correct to 'convenient to use' or 'easy to use'. Suggestions: use clear nouns, correct singular/plural for 'country', and natural adjective phrases ('inexpensive', 'convenient to use').