Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more precise and concise. Begin with a clear topic sentence, reduce fillers (uh, um), correct small factual inconsistencies (a ‘child’ and ‘17th birthday’ conflict), and use one or two specific supporting details linked logically. Keep answers to no more than five sentences and use linking words such as "then" or "because" to show sequence or reason.

例: Yes, I did. It was a small yellow bike that my parents gave me when I was about seven. I used to ride it around the neighborhood every weekend with my friends, and later I stopped riding it when I started taking the bus to school because the bus was faster for long distances.

提案: Organize your answer with a clear opinion followed by specific, coherent reasons. Avoid vague or contradictory statements (e.g., "still popular" vs "now a few people use them"). Use linking words (for example, however, because) and give one clear example with correct phrasing. Also watch grammar ("ride bags" → "carry bags" or "work as delivery drivers").

例: Yes, I think bicycles remain fairly popular because they are cheap and convenient for short trips. For example, many students and delivery workers use bicycles in small towns to move quickly. However, in big cities more people prefer public transport or motorbikes because they are faster over longer distances.

× Uh, my parents bought it for my 17th birthday.

✓ Uh, my parents bought it for my 7th birthday.

The sentence appears to refer to childhood; giving a bike at 'my 17th birthday' contradicts 'when I was a child.' This is a content inconsistency rather than pure grammar, but if intended as childhood gift it should be '7th birthday.' Ensure numbers match the time frame described.

× I used to ride it around neighborhood every weekend with my friends.

✓ I used to ride it around the neighborhood every weekend with my friends.

The noun 'neighborhood' needs the definite article 'the' when referring to a specific area familiar to speaker/listener. Add 'the' before 'neighborhood.'

× Umm, I stopped using it after a few years when I started traveling to school by bus.

✓ Umm, I stopped using it after a few years when I started travelling to school by bus.

This is not a tense error but a spelling variant: 'traveling' (American) vs 'travelling' (British). Keep spelling consistent with intended variety. The sentence grammar is correct; adjust spelling as needed.

× Uh, for instance many student delivery drivers ride bags to get around quickly in small towns.

✓ Uh, for instance many student delivery drivers carry bags to get around quickly in small towns.

The verb 'ride' is incorrect with 'bags.' Use 'carry bags' for what delivery drivers do. Also add a comma after 'for instance' for clarity. The correction fixes verb choice and meaning.

× And the bikes were popular before, but now a few people use them because of course in a public transport.

✓ And bikes were more popular before, but now few people use them because of readily available public transport.

The original has awkward phrasing and article errors. 'The bikes' is unnecessary generalization; use 'bikes.' 'Were popular before' is vague; 'more popular before' is clearer. 'A few people' implies some people still use them; 'few people' fits intended decline. 'Because of course in a public transport' is ungrammatical—replace with 'because of readily available public transport' to explain cause clearly.

× And the bikes were popular before, but now a few people use them because of course in a public transport.

✓ And bikes were more popular before, but now few people use them because of readily available public transport.

The phrase 'in a public transport' misuses article and preposition. 'Public transport' is an uncountable noun phrase that does not take 'a' and does not require 'in.' Remove 'a' and 'in' to correct the noun phrase.