Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and direct. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes, I did), then give one or two specific supporting details. Reduce hesitations (‘umm’, repeated words) and avoid asking the examiner to clarify obvious words. Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, “when I was eight” and “so I practiced a lot”).

例: Yes, I did. I got my first bicycle when I was eight, and I practiced every weekend until I could ride confidently. Because I practiced a lot, I could ride without training wheels within a month.

提案: Answer directly, then give clear reasons with specific details. Reduce filler words and grammar errors (e.g. 'it's the capital city', 'many people', 'dangerous on busy streets', 'it can cause accidents'). Use linking words (however, because, therefore). Avoid telling the listener what to do ('I don't really recommend you'); instead say your opinion clearly.

例: Yes, bicycles are popular in Japan, but in Tokyo they are less convenient. Because Tokyo is densely populated with narrow, crowded streets, cycling can be dangerous and often leads to accidents. Therefore, while many people use bikes in smaller cities, I would be cautious about cycling in central Tokyo.

× Hi umm yes I did umm when I was I think when I was like 8 umm I wo I practiced a lot to be able to ride a bike and and you mean biker is like bicycle right Yeah I did.

✓ Hi. Yes, I did. I think I was about eight. I practiced a lot to be able to ride a bike. And do you mean 'biker' as in 'bicycle'? Yes, I did.

This long utterance contains several sentence structure problems: run-on fragments, repeated hesitations, and unclear phrasing. Break it into clear sentences, remove repeated words (I was I think), correct phrasing ('about eight' for age), and clarify the question part by rephrasing to 'do you mean...'. Suggestions: pause to form full sentences, avoid filler repetitions, and use simple clauses like 'I was about eight' and 'I practiced a lot to learn to ride a bike.'

× Yes, I do, but I live in Tokyo in Japan and then it's capital city in a lot of people there.

✓ Yes, I do, but I live in Tokyo, Japan, and it is the capital city with a lot of people.

Incorrect or redundant prepositions and wording: 'in Tokyo in Japan' should be 'Tokyo, Japan.' 'it's capital city in a lot of people there' is ungrammatical; use 'it is the capital city with a lot of people.' Also change contraction 'it's' to 'it is' for clarity. Suggestion: use commas for place names and 'with' to indicate possession/characteristic ('with a lot of people').

× So like riding a bike in uh, like a danda in Tokyo is kind of like a dangerous and it's it calls like accidents.

✓ So riding a bike on the roads in Tokyo can be quite dangerous and can cause accidents.

Multiple errors: wrong noun 'danda' (unclear) and incorrect article 'a dangerous' as an adjective needs an adverb or adjective phrase, and 'it calls like accidents' is incorrect verb usage. Use 'on the roads' for location, 'can be quite dangerous' for possibility, and 'can cause accidents' to express consequence. Suggestion: choose correct vocabulary ('roads') and pair modal 'can' with base verbs for possibility and result.

× So I don't really recommend you.

✓ So I don't really recommend it to you.

Incorrect object pronoun and missing indirect object structure: 'recommend you' is wrong in this context; English uses 'recommend something to someone' or 'recommend that someone do something.' Correct forms include 'I don't really recommend it to you' or 'I wouldn't recommend it.' Suggestion: use 'recommend it to you' or 'I wouldn't recommend riding a bike there.'