Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, remove hesitations (uh), correct collocations and grammar, and add one specific detail. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give a brief supporting detail using linking words. For example, replace “I didn't have a chance to have a bike” with “I didn't own a bike” and “I don't have any party to teach me” with “I don't have anyone to teach me.” Keep answer to 2–3 sentences.

例: I didn't own a bike when I was a child, unlike my brother. However, I am learning to ride now, but I don't have anyone to teach me, so I plan to take a weekend cycling class next month.

提案: Answer directly, avoid filler words, fix grammar and cohesion, and give a specific reason or example. Use linking words like "however" or "because" to connect points. Replace vague phrases (“on the way”, “traffic conditions”) with precise ones (“through the city”, “congestion”). Limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: I wouldn't say bikes are popular in my country. Although many cities have dedicated bike lanes, most people prefer driving because cars are seen as more convenient, so traffic congestion remains a major problem.

× Unfortunately, I didn't have a chance to have a bike in my childhood, unlike my brother.

✓ Unfortunately, I didn't have the chance to have a bike when I was a child, unlike my brother.

Use 'when I was a child' instead of 'in my childhood' for natural phrasing in English; 'the chance' is more idiomatic than 'a chance' in this context. The sentence remains past tense to match the time reference. ID:5

× Uh, But nowadays I try to learn how to ride a bike, but regrettably I don't have any party to teach me and maybe in the future I will be able to learn.

✓ Nowadays I am trying to learn how to ride a bike, but regrettably I don't have anyone to teach me; maybe in the future I will be able to learn.

Use present continuous 'am trying' for actions in progress now. 'any party' is incorrect; use 'anyone' for a person. Replace the comma splice with a semicolon or separate sentences. Keep 'will be able to' for future possibility. ID:6

× To be honest, I wouldn't say bikes are popular in our country.

✓ To be honest, I wouldn't say that bikes are popular in our country.

Add 'that' (optional but improves formality) and keep present simple 'are' to describe a general truth. This fixes minor sentence structure and clarity while preserving tense. ID:6

× And uh, even though there are many bike lanes on the way, uh, but most of the people don't use it and they prefer cars to bikes.

✓ Even though there are many bike lanes, most people don't use them and prefer cars to bikes.

Don't use both 'even though' and 'but' together; choose one. 'On the way' is unnecessary. Use plural pronoun 'them' to agree with plural 'bike lanes'. Remove filler 'uh' and 'the' before 'people' for natural phrasing. ID:16

× Therefore there are a lot of traffic conditions.

✓ Therefore there is a lot of traffic congestion.

'Traffic conditions' is awkward; 'traffic congestion' is the correct collocation. Use singular 'is' because 'a lot of traffic' or 'traffic congestion' is uncountable. This keeps present simple to describe a general result. ID:22