Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundancy (e.g., "first bike to ride" is repetitive). Also vary vocabulary slightly and keep to under five sentences.

例: Yes, I did — my parents bought me my first bike when I was seven. It was a small red bicycle with training wheels, and I used to ride it around the neighborhood every afternoon, which helped me become confident on two wheels.

提案: Organize the answer: give a clear opinion, then support it with specific reasons and examples, using linking words (e.g., "because", "for example", "therefore"). Avoid grammar errors (subject-verb agreement, word order) and repetitive phrases. Keep it to 3–4 concise sentences and use varied vocabulary (commonly, commuters, due to).

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are cheap and convenient. For example, many teenagers and office workers cycle to school or work to avoid heavy traffic. Therefore, more people choose bicycles over cars for short trips.

× Yes, I had a bike when I was a child.

✓ Yes, I had a bike when I was a child.

No change needed; sentence correctly uses past simple to describe a past state.

× My parents bought it for me when I was seven.

✓ My parents bought it for me when I was seven.

No change needed; past simple correctly describes a completed action in the past.

× It was actually my first bike to ride.

✓ It was actually the first bike I ever rode.

Original phrasing is unnatural. Use 'the first bike I ever rode' to follow English word order and idiomatic expression: article 'the' with 'first' and a subject-verb structure 'I ever rode'.

× Yes, they are popular in my country because they use them a lot.

✓ Yes, bicycles are popular in my country because people use them a lot.

Pronoun 'they' is unclear as subject. Replace with 'bicycles' or 'people' for clarity and keep present simple for general truth. Also avoid ambiguous 'they use them' by specifying 'people use them'.

× They a teenager or old people or young people, they always use them.

✓ Teenagers, older people and young adults all use them regularly.

Original sentence has missing verb and awkward listing. Correct by using plural nouns and a verb 'use' and concise phrase 'all use them regularly'.

× It's so common in our country.

✓ It is very common in our country.

Change 'so' to 'very' for more formal register; 'It's' is acceptable but expanded form improves clarity. No grammatical error beyond register.

× They can go to school with it or go to work or their office.

✓ They can go to school with them or go to work or the office by bicycle.

Pronoun 'it' should agree with plural 'bicycles' ('them'). Also 'their office' is ambiguous; use 'the office' or 'go to work' and specify 'by bicycle' for clarity.

× They use it a lot more than the car because of the traffic that we have in our countries a lot.

✓ They use bicycles much more than cars because we have a lot of traffic in our country.

Problems: pronoun agreement ('it' vs plural), article misuse ('the car' general -> 'cars'), word order and redundancy ('in our countries a lot' incorrect). Correction uses plural nouns and proper word order: 'we have a lot of traffic in our country'.