Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is hard to follow because of incorrect grammar, unclear vocabulary and unclear logical order. To improve, give a clear topic sentence stating whether you had a bike, then add 1–2 specific supporting details (who gave it, what it looked like, a memory) using simple correct sentences and linking words like “because” or “so”. Pay attention to past tense (I had, my parents gave me) and countable nouns (a bike, my first bike). Avoid irrelevant or repeated phrases.

例: Yes, I had a bike when I was a child. My parents gave me a red bicycle for my eighth birthday, and I remember riding it to the park every weekend. I loved it because it was light and easy to ride, so I felt confident and independent.

提案: The answer gives a basic idea but is unclear and contains incorrect phrases. Improve by giving a direct topic sentence (Yes or No + reason), then support with 1–2 specific reasons and an example. Use correct vocabulary (popular, students, commute, affordable, stores) and linking words (because, for example, so). Keep sentences short and use present simple for general facts.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are affordable and convenient for short trips. For example, many students ride bikes to school and people use them for shopping or commuting in busy cities, so you see bike shops and rental stations in most neighborhoods.

× I have a price and I am a child because I achieved flying marks in with standards.

✓ I had a bicycle when I was a child because I achieved excellent grades.

The original sentence is unclear and contains multiple structural problems: wrong words ('price' instead of 'bike' or 'bicycle'), tense mismatch ('have' vs. past context), and extra fragments ('in with standards'). Suggestion: use clear subject-verb-object order, match past tense for childhood, and choose correct vocabulary ('bicycle' and 'excellent grades').

× My parents give me money bicycles.

✓ My parents gave me money to buy a bicycle.

Problems: wrong tense (present 'give' instead of past), incorrect word order, and wrong noun form ('bicycles' vs 'a bicycle') and missing preposition. Suggestion: use past tense for past events, include 'to buy' when giving money for purchase, and use singular/plural consistently.

× This is my favorite bicycles and I never favored with many havens are attached to them and this is my first price cycle that's why this is my favorite.

✓ This is my favorite bicycle because many accessories were attached to it, and it was my first bicycle, so it is my favorite.

Errors include plural/singular mismatch ('bicycles' vs 'bicycle'), wrong words ('favored', 'havens', 'price cycle'), and sentence run-on. Suggestion: make noun forms agree, replace incorrect words with 'accessories' and 'bicycle', use past tense for attachment ('were attached'), and break into clearer clauses joined by conjunctions.

× Yes, there are many bikes in my country.

✓ Yes, there are many bikes in my country.

This sentence is grammatically correct and fit the question about general present situation. No correction needed.

× They are mostly famous because many students to dance and go with the schools to help them.

✓ They are popular because many students use them to travel to school.

Original sentence has incorrect structure and wrong verbs ('to dance', 'go with the schools to help them'). Suggestion: express purpose with 'use them to' and choose appropriate verb 'travel' or 'ride' to indicate going to school.

× Like what most people in a splendor bike is mostly famous in this country because this is not a large money sent.

✓ For example, affordable bicycles are very popular in this country because they are inexpensive.

Problems: unclear phrasing ('in a splendor bike', 'not a large money sent'), wrong word choice and sentence ordering. Suggestion: use 'affordable' or 'inexpensive' to convey low cost and a clear subject-verb structure ('bicycles are popular because they are inexpensive').

× Bio TV is available in every store.

✓ Bicycles are available in every store.

'Bio TV' is incorrect vocabulary likely intended to be 'bicycles'. Also the sentence is fine once the correct noun is used. Suggestion: replace incorrect word with 'bicycles' to match context.