Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be direct, use correct tense, add a brief reason and one short supporting detail. Avoid long explanations without punctuation and keep to 1–3 sentences. Use past tense for childhood (e.g., 'I didn't have a bike').

例: No, I didn't have a bike when I was a child because my parents were struggling financially. As a result, I usually walked to school or used public transport, which was quite common in my neighbourhood.

提案: Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers like 'uh', use linking words to organize reasons (e.g., 'because', 'therefore', 'for example'), correct grammar (e.g., 'people use bikes', 'students especially use them'), and give one specific example or statistic if possible.

例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because many cities are densely populated and cycling is an affordable, convenient way to get around. For example, students and office workers often cycle to school or work to avoid traffic and save money.

× No, when I was a child my parents were struggling financially so I don't have a bike.

✓ No, when I was a child my parents were struggling financially so I didn't have a bike.

The sentence mixes past context ('when I was a child', 'were struggling') with a present-tense verb 'don't have'. Use past tense 'didn't have' to maintain consistent past time reference. Suggestion: keep all verbs referring to that past period in past tense (e.g., 'didn't have', 'we lived', 'I couldn't afford').

× Yes, in my country bikes are very popular because uh I live in a very dense country, especially very dense cities, so bikes are very affordable.

✓ Yes, in my country bikes are very popular because I live in a very densely populated country, especially in very dense cities, so bikes are very affordable.

The phrase 'very dense country' is awkward; 'densely populated' is the correct adjective phrase describing population density. Also add 'in' before 'very dense cities' for correct prepositional use. Suggestion: use 'densely populated' and include prepositions where needed: 'especially in very dense cities'.

× So people use bike for daily commute and uh students especially used by.

✓ So people use bikes for daily commutes, and students especially use them.

There are several errors: 'bike' should be plural 'bikes' to match 'people'; 'daily commute' should be plural or rephrased as 'daily commuting' or 'their daily commute'; 'students especially used by' is ungrammatical and seems to be passive; correct active form is 'students especially use them' where 'them' refers to 'bikes'. Suggestion: ensure noun number agreement and use active voice: 'people use bikes for their daily commute, and students especially use them.'