Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cevap doğrudan ve anlaşılır ama daha doğal, akıcı ve kısa olmalı. Konu cümlesiyle başlamalı, gereksiz tekrarlar ve anlamsal belirsizlikler ("Maybe because of my gender", "many people complained about this kind of discrepancy, but I believe") kaldırılmalı. Renkleri belirtip kısa bir neden ekleyebilir ve tek bir bağlantı sözcüğüyle destekleyici ayrıntı ekleyebilirsiniz. Örnek uzunluğu 2–4 cümle arasında olmalı.

例: Yes. I had two bikes when I was a child; my grandparents bought them for me. One was red and the other blue, and I preferred the blue one because it felt faster. I used to ride them every weekend around the neighborhood.

提案: Cevap iyi bir fikir veriyor ancak cümle yapısı ve akıcılık zayıf; tekrarlı ifadeler ("in order to" çok kullanılmış) ve zaman uyumsuzlukları var. Bir konu cümlesiyle başlayıp, iki kısa destekleyici cümleyle gerekçeler (çevre ve eğlence) belirtin ve açık bir örnekle cümleyi tamamlayın. Bağlaçlar (for example, moreover) kullanarak tutarlılığı artırın.

例: Yes, cycling is very popular in my country. Many people use bikes to reduce pollution and avoid traffic, and others ride for exercise or relaxation. For example, last weekend I saw dozens of families cycling in the riverside park.

× Yes, when I was a child I had two bikes and my grandmother and my grandfather bought me these bikes.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I had two bikes and my grandmother and grandfather bought them for me.

The phrase 'my grandmother and my grandfather' is repetitive; combine as 'my grandmother and grandfather'. 'These bikes' is awkward after 'two bikes' and in past context 'them' is more natural: 'bought them for me'. Use of plural 'bikes' is correct, but wording should be more idiomatic.

× Also their colors were red and blue.

✓ Also, their colors were red and blue.

This sentence needs a comma after 'Also' for correct punctuation. Pronoun 'their' correctly refers to the bikes. No pronoun change is required; added comma improves clarity.

× Maybe because of my gender, I loved so much the blue one.

✓ Maybe because of my gender, I loved the blue one very much.

Word order: English prefers 'love/liked something very much' rather than 'loved so much the blue one'. Move the adverb phrase 'very much' after the object. 'Loved' is past tense and appropriate.

× However, many people complained about this kind of discrepancy, but I believe.

✓ However, many people complained about this discrepancy, but I do not agree.

The original sentence is incomplete and contradictory: 'complained ... but I believe' lacks an object for 'believe'. Provide a clear contrasting opinion: 'but I do not agree' or 'but I disagree'. Also remove 'this kind of' which is wordy; 'this discrepancy' is sufficient.

× Yes, in my country bikes are so popular nowadays, many people in order to support environmental issues, they have been riding their bikes in order to reach their destinations.

✓ Yes, in my country bikes are very popular nowadays; many people ride their bikes to support environmental causes and to reach their destinations.

Mixed tenses and awkward phrasing: 'are so popular nowadays' is acceptable but 'so' is informal; 'very popular' is better. The sentence incorrectly uses a present perfect continuous 'have been riding' without a time frame; simple present 'ride' fits general statements. Remove redundant 'in order to' and use 'to'. 'Environmental issues' should be 'environmental causes' for natural collocation.

× In addition to this, in order to unwind, many people have been riding bikes in green belts.

✓ In addition, many people ride bikes in green belts to unwind.

Again, prefer simple present 'ride' for habitual actions. 'In addition to this' is wordy; 'In addition' suffices. Move purpose 'to unwind' to the end. 'Have been riding' implies a continuous action with relevance to now; habitual simple present is clearer.

× I would like to give an example about this issue.

✓ I would like to give an example of this issue.

Preposition choice: 'example of' is the correct collocation, not 'example about'. This fixes preposition error and improves naturalness.

× Last weekend we.

✓ Last weekend we went for a long bike ride in the park.

Original is an incomplete sentence lacking a verb and object. Provide a complete past-tense clause to match 'Last weekend' time reference. Use past simple 'went' for a finished action.