Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatical: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one brief supporting detail. Avoid repetition. Use correct tense and natural phrasing (e.g., “I never learned to ride a bike”).

例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child, so I never learned to ride one. As an adult I still haven’t had the chance to practice, so I’m not comfortable riding a bike yet.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and support it with one or two specific reasons or examples. Use linking words (e.g., because, for example) and avoid awkward phrasing like “children with in a lower age.”

例: Yes, bikes are quite popular in my country because many children use them for play and short trips. For example, I often see groups of young children riding bikes in parks and near schools in the afternoons.

× When I was a child I didn't have a bike so I never had an experience riding it and since I am going now I I do not have any experience riding a bike.

✓ When I was a child I didn't have a bike, so I never had the experience of riding one, and now I still do not have any experience riding a bike.

The sentence mixes past and present awkwardly and uses incorrect phrasing 'had an experience riding it' and 'since I am going now'. The main issue is past tense consistency and appropriate expressions. Use past simple 'didn't have' and 'never had' for childhood, and use 'now I still do not have' for present state. Replace 'riding it' with 'riding one' or 'riding a bike' and use 'the experience of' for natural English. Add commas to separate clauses for clarity.

× Yes, I think bikes are really popular in my country since most of the children here are riding bikes and children with in a lower age, they are focused, they are really into riding a bike.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are really popular in my country because most children here ride bikes, and younger children are very focused and really into riding a bike.

The original uses present continuous 'are riding' unnecessarily; habitual actions should use simple present 'ride'. 'children with in a lower age' is incorrect phrasing; use 'younger children'. Remove redundant pronoun 'they' after the comma and combine adjectives correctly. Use 'because' for reason. These changes correct tense usage and improve clarity and collocation.