Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more accurate with tense and word choice, avoid filler words, and give a concise supporting detail. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific detail using a linking word. For example, correct past tense and use precise verbs (e.g., 'owned' or 'had' instead of 'hired' if you mean possession).

例: Yes, I had a bicycle from the age of eight. For more than five years I rode it almost every day to school and to visit friends, so it became my main way of getting around.

提案: Give a clearer general statement and follow with a specific reason or example, avoid absolute words like 'everybody', and remove fillers. Use a linking word (e.g., 'because' or 'for example') to explain why bikes are popular.

例: Yes, bicycles are quite popular in my country because many people prefer them for short commutes. For example, students and office workers often cycle to nearby schools or bus stops to save time and money.

× Yes, I hired a bike since I was 8 years old and I have, uh, used the bike for more than five years.

✓ Yes, I have had a bike since I was eight years old, and I have used it for more than five years.

The original sentence mixes past simple 'hired' with 'since' which requires present perfect to show continuous possession from a past point to now. Use 'have had' for possession since a past age. Also 'hired' means rented which likely isn't intended; 'had' communicates owning/possessing. Replace 'the bike' with 'it' to avoid repetition and '8' with 'eight' for formal writing. Use present perfect 'have used' correctly for an action lasting up to the present.

× Yes, bikes are popular in my country and everybody uses a bike for, uh, commuting to shorter distances.

✓ Yes, bikes are popular in my country and everybody uses a bike for commuting shorter distances.

The phrase 'commuting to shorter distances' uses an unnecessary preposition 'to'. The correct expression is 'commuting shorter distances' or 'commuting for short distances'. Remove 'to' to make the prepositional relationship correct. Also omit filler 'uh' in corrected speech.