Bike— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar, fluency and structure. Start with a direct topic sentence, fix tenses and plural/singular forms, and avoid fragments. Add one or two brief supporting details using linking words. For example, say why they couldn't afford it and mention any alternative you had. Keep it to 2–4 sentences and use natural phrasing.

例: No, I didn’t have a bike when I was a child because my parents couldn’t afford one. However, I often walked to school and sometimes borrowed a neighbour’s bicycle, which was how I learned to ride.

提案: Clarify the reason and correct awkward phrasing. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give specific supporting details and use linking words (for example, 'because' or 'however'). Explain whether popularity is due to affordability, convenience, or culture and include a short example or comparison.

例: Yes, I think bicycles are quite popular in my country because many people cannot afford cars and bikes are a cheap, convenient way to get around. For instance, you often see markets and students using bicycles for short trips.

× Because my parents. No, I did not have a bike when I was child because my parent could not afford it.

✓ No, I did not have a bike when I was a child because my parents could not afford it.

This sentence has multiple issues: a sentence fragment 'Because my parents.' should be removed or integrated (Grammar problem type 26). 'When I was child' is missing the article 'a' before 'child' (article error, type 22). 'Parent' is singular but refers to both parents; use plural 'parents' (singular/plural issue, type 1). Correct the structure by forming one complete sentence: 'No, I did not have a bike when I was a child because my parents could not afford it.' Suggestion: avoid sentence fragments by ensuring clauses are connected to main clauses and check count agreement for nouns and appropriate articles.

× Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country because here people, everybody cannot afford this.

✓ Yes, I think bikes are popular in my country because many people here cannot afford them.

The original sentence misuses pronouns and has awkward word order. 'Here people, everybody cannot afford this' is ungrammatical (sentence structure error, type 26) and uses 'this' incorrectly to refer to 'bikes' (pronoun error, type 12). Use 'many people here' for natural word order and 'them' to refer back to 'bikes' (plural pronoun matching, type 1). Also avoid contradictory phrasing 'people, everybody' — choose one expression. Suggestion: keep subject and modifier together ('many people here') and ensure pronouns agree in number with their antecedents ('them' for plural 'bikes').